peace . love . joy

I was really excited over Chinese New Year this year. It's a big thing for my family (it probably is for most all Chinese) and I love that it's a great excuse to get together with the entire family, even those who've travelled overseas to make a living there return, eat good food together with people whom we love, and get free money, haha!

I didn't get to celebrate it last year with my family because I was over in the UK for my student exchange. And while we did celebrate it, it was with new and unfamiliar faces, and it was just a dinner (and not enough food, at that!). My father brought the webcam over to my granparent's place (we always go there on the eve and on the first day of the celebrations). All throughout the skype conversation, as each of my aunts and uncles, cousins and my grandparents took turns to stand within the frame of the webcam to speak to me, I literally bawled. I never knew I'd miss my family so much!

So you can imagine how excited I was to dress up and go visiting this year.

But on the eve of CNY, I woke up with my left eye alarmingly red. Now, my eyes aren't the healthiest; they're ultra-sensitive and sometimes turn red for no reason whatsoever, but this wasn't the usual redness. This was worrying.

My mum took me to see the doctor at the A&E. He didn't lend himself to be very caring nor compassionate nor trustworthy. But I did listen and took the prescribed medication as directed.

So for the whole of CNY, I had to deal with a bare face (no make-up: I know, I can be quite vain), take ugly photos with other fresh-faced & glamourously made-up people, deal with constant questions about the redness of my eye, and to top it all off, endure the discomfort of my eye.

I was pretty upset! My eyes were fine and so blue-white the days leading up to CNY. What happened??

I prayed really hard and constantly, and I mean persistantly, for God to take it away, for a miracle, and a quickie at that! But somehow, I kept feeling as though God wasn't listening, and it's not because my eye wasn't miraculously healed. Rather, it was as though there was a perspex glass between me and Him and I was hollering, but He couldn't hear. It didn't faze me though; I ploughed right on, relentless in my verbal tirade.

Then, on the first day of CNY, I decided not to go with my family to church for service because my eye was quite bad that morning. When they left, I decided that it'd be nice to have a little "service" of my own right at home. But it was a glimmer of a thought that flitted through my brain. I was quickly distracted by other thoughts.

"Starts with a P-."

That came into my mind all on its own, and all of a sudden.

"Prayer", was my immediate response that surprised me, for I was thinking nothing of prayer in the immediately preceding thoughts, in fact, I was thinking nothing of my faith (more on what I'd eat for lunch and what programs were on TV later)!

Then, I knew what God would have me do in that time I was completely alone at home.

He wanted me to focus on Him.

So I asked that I not be disturbed by anything, no telephone calls, no smses, no person knocking on the door, and certainly no family returning from church. Not until we (ie. God and I) were done with our little rendevous.

Thinking it'd be nice to play the piano and sing to God, I tried that. I ain't good at playing and singing simultaneously so I don't usually do that, but I did it anyway that day, and surprisingly, it wasn't too shabby an effort!

As I was playing and singing, I was reminded that once, not too long ago, I asked for a glimpse into God's heart. Then, I immediately got what I asked for. That glimpse. And I thought maybe I ought to ask for it again, that I may pray for what is in His heart, instead of going on about what I want.

I did.

And His answer?

Haiti.
Wars and conflicts.

How foolish I was to pray only for myself!
How much more selfish can I be?

How could I have been so disturbed by the 12012010 earthquake in Haiti then and not continue interceding for them on their behalf?
How could I go on and on and on about my selfish vexations and not about something that grips and wrenches and twists God's heart?

How could I have seen and not be moved?

Maybe I would have seen better if my eyes were shut.
Maybe I would have heard better if my heart were beating together with God's.

I need to re-align myself with my God.

Do you?

Search your heart.
Difficult, no?
How terrible that even we could lie even to ourselves!

So I find one of the easiest ways into a person's heart is what he\she speaks and prays for, for words, the utterances of the tongue betray the desires of the being.
The tongue is the tattletale of the heart.

What is important to you?

Do you ache for what He longs for,
cry for what brings Him sorrow?
Do you rejoice over what He loves?

Do you need to re-align yourself with God?

Will you re-align yourself with God?



(BTW, I wasn't disturbed at all while communing with God. My family came home a good twenty minutes after we were finished.)

Insecurities: we all have them & we all have to deal with them.

Each of us are made differently, possessing different levels of various skills, some of us are better at some things, and some of us are better at some other things. That's probably a given. And there's nothing wrong with that. Each of us are born with different aptitudes and inclinations, each of us are presented different opportunites of varying intensities to hone our proficiencies and capabilities, and each of us have different potential scales of different maxx levels or excellency limits. It's okay.

The problem comes when it gets to us so much that it isn't okay anymore. We begin to think thoughts that throw us headlong into a depressing kamikaze (ie. self-destruct) spiral. "Don't ask me. Ask Him\Her; (s)he's better than me", "(s)he's better at this than I am; my position is in jeopardy", "Does he really like me? It can't be. I think he likes her more", "how come I can't get a boy\girlfriend? Is something wrong with me?", etc. Sound familiar?

If you've had bouts of insecurity, you're not alone, honey, I'm right there with you.

But not only are insecurities a catapult of massive proportions, hurling gigantuan projectiles at us, it has a concievable chance of leading us to break Commandment numero diez, "thou shalt not covet... anything that belongs to your neighbour" (Exodus 20:17; Deuteronomy 5:21). Jealousy and envy at another's talent and accomplishments should never be allowed to take root for it could bring about disastrous consequences. If movies were anything to go by, then meanness, backstabbing and hurtful remarks, disunity would be in the forseeable future.

Insecurity ain't good, and we all know that.
But somehow, we can't seem to shake it.

I've been meaning to write about this for the longest of times, but I just never could find the answer, or never was satisfied with what I had learnt, most likely because I didn't quite understand what it means to "have confidence in God".

I now do with the help and blessing of Robert J. Morgan and Psalm 27.

Morgan summed up his ideas in the "Cure for Insecurity" with the repetitive use of a single phrase ONE THING. And that spurred me onto mine own investigations into its usage as chronicled in the Bible.

That particular phrase isn't used much, methinks it is precisely because of its exclusivist nature: it is serious business to stop and proclaim that only one thing matters or is required. Much thought must have been put into the pre-exclamation phase.

The more notable times it was used was when Jesus bade the rich young man to sell all he has and give to the poor, that he shall have treasure in heaven, and to go, follow Him, for that was the one thing he lacked (Mark 10:17-22), and to Martha, teaching her that only one thing is necessary: that which Mary has chosen (Luke 10:38-42). Paul too uttered that phrase, saying it is but one thing he does: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, pressing on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called him heavenward in Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

So are there many one things?
Or just one?
Is the antidote for insecurity a whole array of prescriptive syrups and tablets?
Or just a single pill?

Psalm 27 starts off on a high, somewhat boastful and cocky, rather confident tone:
(the paragraphs beginning with the big green "one thing"s are Morgan's)

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

ONE THING I KNOW the LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.
For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

ONE THING I DESIRE that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

And it is here, at the junction between verses 6 and 7, that the tone of the psalm shifts. All of a sudden, it is as though David remembers moments of weakness, fits of doubt flit here and there in his mind... insecurities... So he cries:

Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

ONE THING I NEED hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

ONE THING I'LL DO I will stay confident of this — that I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

And that is how David deals with his insecurities.

The cure is a single PILL:

Pray, commune with God always, regardless.
Remember the Great I AM, His statutes, His character, His works.
Look where you are headed, keep in mind your purpose.
Not forgetting to Live as befits who you are: a servant and child, a soldier and friend of the Most High King.

Nowhere in the psalm does David dwell on that which he lacks. Nowhere does he dwell on his predicaments.
Instead, his words betray a trust, a reliance, a relationship with an entity who loves and cares as much as He judges and forgives.

Only one thing is needed.
Only one is required.
Only one is crucial.

And if that one thing is not present, we will most likely be plagued by insecurities, like locusts to a field.

The cure to insecurity is to have confidence in God.

And to have confidence in God is

ONE THING:

To abide in God Almighty.

I actually have many many things to write about; so much has been hoarded up in my mind and in my heart! But writing them takes up quite a bit of time, which I don't have much of, and a whole lot of effort, even though it brings me great happiness because when I write, I feel God's smile. Anyway, I shall note each thing down on a piece of paper, and write about them all in time.

Last Sunday (010210), I joined two others from the Youth (we call the Youth Service in our church The Tackle Box, stemming from us being called to become "fishers of men") prayer ministry in praying and interceding for the Youths. We usually gather to pray in the prayer room just outside the Worship Hall about 30 mins before TTB service begins, but without any formal stop time (sometimes, we pray a good half hour into the service!)

Though our numbers are not massively impressive, there are actually about seven or eight prayer warriors\intercessors from TTB for TTB, I feel the ministry is good because I know God is there with us, listening to us, I know Jesus is praying with us, seated at the right hand of the Father, I know the Holy Spirit is groaning and interceding through us, for us.

It was interesting, what was prayed for last Sunday morning. Interesting because all three of us, though there wasn't any prior agreement nor consensus to pray for a particular item or topic, we found ourselves crying out to God for pretty much one something that weighed and was pressed very heavily on our hearts:

sin
vices
temptations
falling away from God

And for some reason, as I listened to the others, fervent in prayer, as I too prayed, I heard God saying that what we were doing, our prayers, our psalms, our lamentations were beautiful. And so, while the subject of prayer was painful and potentially discouraging, it became wonderful, sacred and encouraging.

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
~ Matthew 18: 19-20

This is a very commonly cited passage that many use to implore us to pray with one another, to pray together. But exactly what meaning is packaged in these two verses? Does it mean that numbers in prayer count? Does it mean that if I pull a friend to pray with me about the same thing, even if God doesn't want to, He's got to do what we ask?

There are various differing views on this passage. What follows here is what I have gathered and tried to make sense of thus far.

Let's unpack the package.

Praying Together

There is something quite fascinating about Biblical ideas concerning Mathematics.
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven..."
It was written in the Old Testament that "one (could) chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight" (Deut 32: 30a). Strange ratio, no? It isn't a straight linear proportion that we find here: one to a thousand, and hence two to two thousand. No. Here, it is one to a thousand, and two to ten thousand!

So maybe there is some kind of power that comes with numbers, albeit not necessarily proportionately!

But here's the catch:
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven..."
While there are a number of Greek words that have been used in the Bible, they don't all imply the exact same thing, so it is useful, in fact, crucial to know which is used when.
Here, the word is συμφωνέω (sumphōneō), and it means to sound together; to be harmonious. The Amplified Bible refers to this "agreeing" as to "harmonize together, make a symphony together".

Ray Stedman uses the analogy of a piano:

In other words, he says that "where two or three of you sound the same note, not by comparing notes beforehand, but simply, voluntarily, spontaneously, sounding this out, it shall be done by (the) Father which is in heaven" because that is when the "mind of the Spirit" is "determined".

That is one view vocalised by one camp of thought.

Law & Instruction

On flipside, some people say that these verses must be read "in context", that is, with reference to the preceding verses (vv. 15-20).

Here, Jesus was giving instructions, how to go about restoring a wayward brother (or sister). And with the word for "thing" in "anything" to be the Greek πρᾶγμα (pragma), which stems from a primary verb which means to practise; to perform repeatedly or habitually, a certain deed; business; matter; thing; work, "anything" must therefore mean kinds of judicial decisions or corporate discipline.

In other words, this passage is spoken with reference to the authority and methods of the church specifically; it has little or even nothing to do with prayer!

I don't know which perspective is true and which is problematic, I'll admit.
But I have found a third lens, and to that, I subscribe:

Humility, Mercy & Love

Let's look at Matthew 18, the chapter in its entirety.

It begins with a question:
"Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

Jesus' answer to that question was an unspoken one. His response made the disciples realise that the answer to their question did not matter. What mattered was whether or not they'd be in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Their question betrayed a desire for individual greatness over others, betrayed a proud heart that displeased God. Temptations, like wealth, power, fame, lust (Great4), all these keep us from understanding what was important, all these keep us from entering the Kingdom of Heaven, all these keep us from God.

And the remedy is humility

Jesus continues his answer with the parable of the lost sheep, instructions on how to address a wayward brother (within which our two verses are located), and the parable of the unforgiving and wicked servant.

Do you see a common thread in all three passages, a thread that in fact runs from the beginning of the chapter to its very last word?

Why would the man leave 99 to search for that 1 lost sheep?
And why, when found, did he rejoice over that 1 so greatly?

Why would Jesus instruct us to repeatedly attempt to gain over a wayward brother?
And why would He say that if all else fails, to treat the wayward as a Gentile and a tax collector?

Why would the master release and forgive the indebted servant?
And why was he so furious when the pardoned indebted refuse to pardon another like him?

Why would Jesus spend time to remedy his disciples' misconstructions?

Why did the chapter end with forgiveness?

The answer is Mercy & Love.

Mercy is at the very heart of God.
It is because of mercy that the man searches for that 1 lost sheep.
It is because of mercy that we are instructed to repeatedly advise a wayward brother.
It is because of mercy that the master would release and forgive the indebted servant.

Love is who God is.
It is because of love that the man rejoices so awesomely.
It is because of love that we treat a stubborn wayward as a non-believer.
It is because of love that Jesus spoke all He spoke.

Because our Father is merciful,
because He loves us so very much,
He sent Jesus to die on that splintered cross for our sins and transgressions
that we may be reconciled with Him again,
as it should always have been.

The greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven is the one who truly understands the heart of God, a do-er of the word,
one who fears the Lord
one who shows mercy to others (which was the reason for all the explicit instruction)
one who shows love to others through forgiveness (just as we too were forgiven).

I think Jesus summarized it in Matthew 22: 37-39 quite succintly, saying:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."