peace . love . joy

O sacred Head, now wounded, with grief and shame weighed down,
now scornfully surrounded with thorns, thune only crown:
how pale thou art with anguish, with sore abuse and scorn!
How does this visage languish which once was bright as morn!

What thou, my Lord, hast suffered was all for sinners' gain;
mine, mine was the transgression, but thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here i fall, my Savior! 'Tis i deserve thy place;
look on me with thy favor, vouchsafe to me thy grace.

Wht language shall i borrow to thank thee, dearest friend,
for this thy dying sorrow, thy pity without end?
O make me thine forever; and should i fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to thee.

~ 'O Sacred Head, Now Wounded', Bernard of Clairvaux

Bernard of Clairvaux, the writer of the ancient hymn O Sacred Head, Now Wounded sought, by means of his medieval imagination, to stand before the cross. It's the finest lament to be found in the hymnal. It moves from empathy to contrition and finally to thanksgiving.

The Gospels tell us that the only followers of Jesus who stood before the cross were the disciple John and some women. They were standing "at a distance" (Luke 23:49). What they witnessed was more than a man being tortured to death. As Jesus pushed up, again and again, on the nails that had been driven through His feet, gasping for enough air to utter one of His seven last words, the witnesses were also seeing the death of all their dreams.

Until we understand this, we will not "get" Easter. To stand before the cross and watch Jesus die was to become painfully aware that it appeared to have been all for nothing. Good Friday meant not only the death of Jesus; it was also the death of all hope. It was a lived-out lament. As Frederick Buechner said, "The miracle of the cross is that there was no miracle."

The medieval poet found his way to this hopeless place and put words to his experience for you and me. We cannot count how many believers in the past have arrived at the foot of the cross with the help of the desolate words of the first few verses of this hymn.

There is no language, nor are there words to thank Jesus for His "dying sorrow". The only appropriate response is to give ourselves completely to Him, to ask that He would "make me thine forever".

This is a wonderful example of the end of lament. The joyful place at which this hymn finally arrives could not have been reached any other way except through the darkness of lament. This is not simply a catharsis; it is an example of worshipping God well.

~ Michael Card for Our Journey, April 6 2007

been reading quite a few blogs and found other pple who are hurting (in every and any sense of the word).

found it quite sad, but at the same time encouraging.

you see, it's not nice to be hurting on the inside. share it with someone, you say, well, what if that thing you need to, and evry christian website u search say you shld, share with someone, is embarrassing and touchy and difficult to do so? that's the minus part.

here's the plus part. when you yourself is hurting, you think the whole world doesnt care *at least i think so when i feel so*. but then, when u decide to just message someone for, oh, no reason whatsoever, and ask how they're doing, they reply "not so good...", you realise you're not alone. and it makes you feel better. it's also an opening for the two to share aches and pains with each other.

guess u know what i'm gonna say next, HAHA.

remb the first few posts i ever wrote on this blog? there was one abt the Great4. abt the 4 main categories sins fall into? i found a bigger problem.

addiction.

it's THE worst problem i'm facing right now, and i'm pretty sure, if you look at your lives, at some point or another, you're addicted to something\someone. i guess "good" addictions exist, but i'm talking "bad" addiction here. addiction that turns the focus away from God. addiction that takes time that you could have spent serving God with your thoughts, actions...addiction that draws you further from God.

this has become such a big problem for me such that i find it hard to stop thinking about it.

i first tried to stop\ curb my addiction few weeks back.
i asked God for strength, and every time the thought came to my mind, i pushed it aside (if i could) or simply said "megan, no." and turned my attention smwhere else.

NOT effective.
it worked for like a week or less, then i had a relapse. went back to satisfy my craving.

it sucked cos i knew it was bad. and i knew it was wrong. and i knew God was angry and upset and sad. and i felt so ashamed of myself.

so i'm trying once more to flee frm temptation\addiction. this is my second attempt. been about 4 days since i started my 2nd "fleeing away" frm temptation territory. and so far, so good. but anythg can happen.

i've been reading up on Christian materials that are geared towards helping pple battle addiction. and it's been helping.

but they all say the same thing: tell a friend who can help you along.

freaky.

Friends help :
talk with God. tell God your troubles and know that He hears you. ask for strength and he will give it to you. ask for forgiveness and it will be granted.
tell a friend about your problem. what you are facing. everytime you feel the urge or about to cave in to temptation, call that person and talk on the phone.

Leave that place\thing :
Dr Ravi Zaccharias calls it situational amputation. if it's something that causes you to approach relapse, turn away frm it. if it's a place, or even some people, stop going there, stop mixing with them. cut off all ties to anything & anyone that can steer you back to sin city.

Entertain "turning back" thoughts no more :
the mind is strong. sometimes, "situational amputation" aint enough. you still entertain thoughts that envision you satisfying your cravings. put up a road block that prevents those thoughts from being expanded\built upon, or better yet, from coming back. tell yourself "no." and listen to yourself.
turn your attention on something else. if exercising helps take your mind off thinking about your addiction, exercise. if talking to someone about something else helps, go talk to someone.

Embark on a sprint back to God :
turn your back onto sin, and walk, no, RUN back to God.
meditate on God's works (Psalms 143:5), precepts (Psalms 119:15), statutes (Psalms 119:99)and promises (Psalms 119:148).
turn your thoughts and actions back to focussing on what really matters. back to the one who really matters - God.

FLEE from temptation. FLEE from your addiction(s). FLEE back to the wonderful presence of God.

hello.

this past few weeks have been really hectic for me, and i apologise to you readers who've been requesting for an update time and time again.

i've presentations, quizzes, readings, assignments, not to mention the camp i just returned from.

i'm tired physically from the lack of sleep and the rigories of events that happen one after the other.

i'm tired mentally from the unpragmatic, bordering on philosophising thinking my mind has been engagin in.

i'm tired emotionally from the interactions with other people, and feeling useless and sticking out like a thumb. (and something else that's a little too personal for me to say here)

there's this little portion of my back that's been hurting on and off for the past 3 days. i think i strained a muscle or smthg.

there's so much to do and so little time to do it. there's so much i want to accomplish but so little energy to do it with.

i want to please God.
i want to do well in school.
i want my quality time with God to never end.

i think we should have a retreat of sorts for F.I.S.H.
i feel for our group even though i'm practically just an acquaintance with majority of you.

i was reminded by Joanne of why i go to church. she didnt give the answer. i did. her's wasnt wrong, but it wasnt the "ultimate" reason why we bother to get up and scoot our booties off to church.

one of the most important reasons why i go to church is because:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will heep warm. but how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not so easily broken.
~Ecclesiastes 4 : 9-12

today's article in Our Journey really spoke to me simply because it was what i needed.

it was about triumph over trouble. about what reasons Jesus offered us to be at peace.

Go read John 14:2-3, 13-14, 16-26, 15:4-7, 12-17, 16:33
(i shall not type it here, because i want not to rob you of the awesome feeling i felt when i turned over the pages of the Bible and experienced the awesomeness and reverence of God's Living Word)

i needed peace and You gave it to me.

i needed a time-out from the craziness of this world, and You bought it for me.

i needed a friend to talk to, and You made time for me.

i needed a teacher to discipline and guide me, and You served me.

truly, i stand amaze at God's timing and perfection.

i look at the sunrise and think of God's beauty.

i look at the impending cumulonimbus clouds and fear God' wrath and anger.

i look at the dark waters tossing about, distressed, and experience God's peace, mercy and grace.

i look at the rainbow and reflect on God's goodness.

i look at the silver lining and praise God's soverignty and perfection.

i look at the night sky and whisper a prayer to my wonderful God.

i am all Yours, my Master.

hey sizzlers!