peace . love . joy

I'm taking two modules this semester. Both of them are part of a part-time degree programme, hence almost all my classmates are middle-aged or older save one thirty-ish gentleman (I call him so because he really is a gentleman in manners and air) in one class, and a German exchange student who's about my age in the other class. So you can imagine I don't really get much of a chance to get to know other UK students my age. I don't get invited to hang out in town, or to go for trips somewhere together, especially because those I do get to know are busy with work, family and house. The only UK people I know now, and not too well still since it's only been two weeks, are my floormates and my classmates.

It's not a big deal, I guess, but I've always thought I'd get to know more UK people or even exchange people from other places while I'm here; oh, the novelty of adding someone who's not Asian to my Facebook Friends application! I did get to know some UK people, a girl from Holland, and more Asian people and for that I really am thankful! But still..

Today, it suddenly occurred to me that one way, and an almost certain way I might add, to get to know or be acquainted with more UK people is to join one of my Singapore friends on her nights out to the clubs in town with her UK housemate and friends. You know how as the snowball starts rolling down the hill, gathering more snow, it gets bigger as it rolls? Same principle; start with one bunch and get to know more.

And there I paused and a little conflict arose within me. Why not? If that is what I want, why not? Certainly the Bible did not say "thou shalt not go to clubs" or "though shalt not go to clubs to gain acquaintences". And afterall, I am here and my parents are not; they need not know my every move.

I sat facing the window, watching the dark landscape, dotted with occassional dots of orange street lights, framed by the four square panes of window, uncertain and conflicted tears started falling down my face. I told God what I know He wanted to hear, and what I wanted Him to hear, and what I needed to hear myself. I told Him that I would not go to clubs, especially not for such a reason. If a friend were in trouble and needed my immediate assistance at the club, it'd be another matter entirely. But for such a reason, I shan't. The Bible did not say such things as quoted above, but it did say to honour our parents, and my parents are apprehensive about my going to clubs. I have utterly no intention of disobeying or dishonouring them by going behind their backs and covering my tracks by lying.

God quoted my first psalm to Him "... bend my will to receive Yours...". I shall bend my will to receive His. God has been very good to me not just this past two weeks, but for my whole life! Even before I knew Him! I have every reason to let Him do the planning for my life, to bring people into my life and out of my life. And indeed I have every intention of letting Him do so.

Often at times in our lives, we are faced with heart-wrenching dilemmas; on the one hand, we have something that is questionable but desirable in our eyes, and on the other hand, we have God's way.

How then do we choose?
What then do we choose?

I don't know.
I chose by faith, and faith not unfounded.
I chose by love, and love for people and One who deserve my love and more than I can ever offer.

I chose God's way, I chose the way I know will lead me to where I want to be.
I want to stand in front of God in Heaven and hear Him say "welcome, good and faithful servant! come and share in the Master's happiness!"
I chose to honour my parents, I chose the path that will make God happy.
I want to make my parents proud of me, I want my siblings to look up to me and be proud of their big sister, I want my God to be proud to be called my God and to be happy...

... because I find my happiness in making Him happy.

What about you?



(Hillsong Kids "Tell the World" You're the Answer)