What makes your parents happy?
Surprising them with a weird gift? Enveloping them in a bear hug for no reason? Telling them you love them out of the blue? Sweeping the floor without being told? Picking up after yourself?
As kids, I think more often than not, we always try to please our parents. It's as though we live for our parents' pleasure, we live to please them. When we accomplish something, we run on our little feet pitter-patter along the corridor to where our parents are and proudly show them our latest victories. It could be construed as our learning to be proud at a young age, but I think not. I think a child, and I base this on myself, thinks very little of his own ego. "Pride", in terms of self, exists not in a child's dictionary, let alone consciousness. No, at least for myself when I was little and I hurried to show my prizes to my parents, all I wanted was to make my parents happy, proud of me. I wanted to please them with what I had done.
I'd run home to tell them I've "beaten" someone in school at hula-hoops, I've read this-and-that book, I've drawn this picture for them..
My world truly revolved around them.
Whatever I did, I sought their approval, I sought their happy faces and enthusiastic laughter.
Vested interest.
I formally learnt of this term when I was nineteen in the Economy & Society module in the university. But the meaning of this term was learnt first at a much younger age. I think you know it. It's when you want something, that's the "vested interest", and you do whatever you assume you must to get at it. For example, your parents only allow you to keep your hair long if you stayed a good girl for a week. And because you really want long hair, you resolve skirt pass all temptations to act up for a whole week, so that at the end of it, you get your wish.
As we grow older, we do things "for a price". We ask "what's in it for me?" before we decide if it's worth our while, if it's worth our trouble. Our stringent demands and detailed scrutiny of fine-prints heighten when we deal especially with our parents. When they ask us to do something we don't like, for example folding the laundry or washing the dishes, we stomp our feel and mumble under our breaths and put on a displeased and irritated display. But when we want something from them, like a new game for our Nintendo D/S or PSP, we treat them like royalty and proceed to work out an agreement with them.
Gone are the days when we do things simply to please them.
Do you treat your parents the way you did when you were little?
Do you treat God the same way you treat your parents?
Do you know what makes Him happy?
And do you do it?
Do you do it because it makes Him happy or otherwise?
What kept us going as children, returning like serial bounty hunters to our parents, was that feeling of satisfaction we receive when we see that smile, hear that approving voice, feel that comforting touch; not that short-lived gratification when we hold that new game, or down that bottle of alcohol. If ever, our "vested interest" then was vested in our parents, not ourselves.
We never did stop and ponder how inappropriate, or how insufficient, or how inadequate our gifts to parents were. All we cared about was that they approved, was that confirmation of love and pride and joy in us. That's all we lived for.
As adults, as youths, we do sometimes pause and think ourselves not enough, not enough to satisfy the Lord's appetite. How rightly so! Surely God deserves much more than our silly songs, our crummy paintings, our awkward dances, our pathetic money, our limited time, etc. What we bring to Him surely does Him no justice, surely does our feelings to Him no justice.
But don't let these feelings tie you down nor turn you away from Him. He searches and knows our hearts. He fashioned and made our beings; from our neurons to our toe-nails. He creatively created us so we can creatively create and give back to Him. Our hearts carry different burdens, our thoughts occupied by different concerns, our bodies react with different stances. He knows. And I have a funny feeling He did it on purpose because He likes and appreciates variety.
So knowing we possess the knowledge and the capacity and the abilities to please Him, to make Him happy, will we?
Will we στρέφω, really twist and turn all the way round; convert back into the way we once were, and put on the seemingly rags of the humble?
Will we be ready to admit our wrongs & re-capture that teachable, malleable heart
relinquish our command over things & re-possess that absolute, automatic trust
run from shady vague un-truths & re-exercise that bold frank-ness
realise our respect & re-turn to that sumbissive stance
put aside ego and image & re-abandon that deceptive, mysterious mask
surrender all & re-ly on Him?
Will we ταπεινόω, really depress ourselves, our ego; humiliate our hearts and minds, and become like a παιδίον, a child; an immature youngling once again?
Do we have the courage and the faith to do so?
'At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."'
~ Matthew 18: 1-4
My Family (2005)
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