peace . love . joy

It's been a month and eight days since I first started work at my first job upon graduation from the university. I love my job. I am extremely thankful to God that I've been signed up to a post that combines much of what I believe in and love and enjoy doing, plus my co-workers and superiors are a lovely, comical bunch. And I cannot but marvel practically every day as I leave for home from work at how wonderfully miraculous it is that I have this post; a post that I can boast no formal paper qualifications for and no formal on-the-job experience for. God is really good to me.

But during this lovely month and eight days, I came to see a lacking on my part, a speck of a flaw that must be removed:
For most others that I am acquainted with, it is during the rough times that they must be constantly reminded of the goodness of God.
But for me, for me, it is easiest to forget God when the going is good.

And the going has been very good.

Every week, it is hard for me to step into the grounds of the church, to take a seat in the worship hall, to face a reminder of the Cross, to sing to a God whom I have neglected to worship. How can I just come when I have had six days of chances to come, but did not?

I fought that struggle every week, but each week saw me deciding to try again, to come to seek forgiveness and pardon.

Last week was the hardest because it's been five weeks of the same struggle, and because it was the week of the Eucharist.

It is already hard for me to serve when I am not close to God. But how can I desecrate the Table and eat of the elements when I am not right before God? I cannot reconcile that.

But then, I heard the voice of Jesus say to me that the deed has already been done; He has already come and died for me, taking all my sin and iniquities with Him and put them to death. The Gift of Life has been offered and will always be offered; it will always be extended and never retracted.
The question is will I choose to take it?

I am unworthy. I have much to be rebuked for, much to be shaken until my teeth rattle and my neck is strained for. And it is good for me to remember and know that because:

"A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii, and the other 50.
When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both.
Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt."
And (Jesus) said to him, "You have judged rightly."

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."

And he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, "Who is this, who even forgives sins?"

And he said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

~ Luke 7: 41-50

Will your shortcomings, your sins, your wrong-doings push you to or away from Forgiveness and Life Eternal?

Will you come and claim the Gift that has been, is, and will continue to be offered to you
or will you turn and walk away?

I listen to myself talk to God because that is a glimpse into my own heart which I know little of even though it is my own, but when I talk with God, what my heart holds dearest is revealed. And sometimes, I hear myself praying for myself a lot more than praying for others. Not that there's anything wrong about it, but it shows me that in my eyes, I rule; I am what matters most to myself.

But that is not how God wants it to be.
It's all about me not to me; but to Him.
And for me, it's all about Him and who & what He holds dearest.

I am His beloved. In His eyes, I matter so much I cannot even begin to wrap my head around it.
I am loved and cared about and provided for by the great Jehovah; what more can I ever want?

I am loved that I may love.
I am cared about that I may care about.
I am provided for that I may provide for.

I am shown love that I may know how to love.
I am shown what it means to cared that I may know how to care.
I am shown what it means to provide for that I may know how to provide.

You too, my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 58 says we are:
- to shout out loud and not hold back declaring rebellion & sin against God
- to loose the chains of injustice
- to untie the cords of the yoke
- to set the oppressed free & break every yoke
- to share food with the hungry
- to provide shelter for the poor wanderer
- to clothe the naked
- to not turn away from our own families
- to keep our feet from breaking the Sabbath
- to not dishonour the LORD's holy day
- to not do as we please
- to not speak idle words
for that is what the heart of God holds.

We are to go & boldly declare the righteousness & holiness of God.
We are to fight & persevere & win victory for the oppressed.
We are to care for others.
And we are to honour God in all we do and say.

But what matters most in your eyes?

(quotations from the WATV appear in ochre)

According to the WATV (World Mission Society Church of God), the "Bible clearly testifies that our heavenly Mother exists, and that only our heavenly Mother can give us eternal life". Various references quoted from the Bible are then provided as evidence to this claim.

It's time to brush up on our own knowledge of the Bible and of God Himself!
Some passages quoted are trickier than others, but regardless the complexity, to be truthfully following God's Word requires of disciples a certain degree of discernment; to know Truth from falsity; to hear God's Voice and follow it from among the noisy and distracting taunts.

Pray for discernment as we embark on this journey of sifting the good grains of Truth out from the worthless chaff.

Last week's been a really busy week for me!

I've just started work at my first post after informally (since the formal university convocation ceremony is not until July) graduating from 16 years of formal education. I absolutely love my job as a music teacher at an established and rather prestigeous childcare centre, although I must admit, it's not as simple than I anticipated! I'm something of a pushover when it comes to kids, so having fun in my class is not too much of a problem, but appropriate and sufficient discipline's the new kid in my town that I must familiarise myself with. Lots of new ropes to learn, new jargon, new methods of doing things.. But all I shall meet with a smile! No grimaces; only grins!

Anyway, last Sunday, I was headed home from Plaza Singapura, crossing the road to the bus stop at the middle section just between PS and Park Mall when I noticed two women with clipboards trying to get people's attention. Knowing I'm a sucker for people with sob stories to tell and merchandises to tout, I attempted to steer clear of them. I was rushing home, in any case, because of an engagement I must keep later in the afternoon. Because the other pedestrians wouldn't give way, I had to settle with walking on the grass just to avoid one of the two women.

She walked up to me and stood right smack in my path, effectively cutting off my escape routes because she wouldn't budge and would match my sliding to the right or to the left.

Asking politely for me to fill in a survey for her, I tried to be nice and accomodating since my bus had not yet arrived anyway, so I did. The survey was short enough (just one side of half an A4-sized piece of paper) and the questions simple enough to answer with just one glance.

But the last question was what really caught me off guard. It went something along the lines of:

A couple of weeks ago, I had my Bible study group over in my house and we were discussing the issue of Christian conduct. Back and forth the ideas and comments and views came about how we should go about deciphering and living out the verses on "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial" (1 Cor 10:23), on the problem of "what-if"s in stumbling other believers with our particular behaviors expounded with accompanying concrete examples of grey area subjects like drinking alcohol, tattooing, and even dancing (from hip-hop to tango), for it is not good to cause others to sin (Mark 9:42).

If we draw out the tangent that we should not live lives that are full of actions that stumble others, if we do not know who is watching us when we do what we do, and we do not know if what we do is stumbling whoever is watching, then should we renounce our present lives and live ascetic lives in convents and monasteries as nuns and monks?

See, our problem lies not with clear black and whites of right and wrong as spelt out in God's Word; rather, we take issue with issues coloured in grey hues. Amoral, or non-moral if you prefer, behaviours and actions which are in and of themselves neither right nor wrong. These do not involve sin, and therefore morality. There are many that may be not wrong, but also not advisable, as there are many that are not wrong for some, but also not right for others.

The question is:
What do we do when we face such circumstances where there are such disputes?
How do we negotiate such knowledge that one thing may seem okay for us, but simultaneously utterly incorrect for others?

While I do not dare to offer a clear and concise answer, I believe Romans 14 may help us manoeuvre through these grey waters.

In the first section of the chapter, Paul differentiates between the "stronger" and the "weaker" Christian ("weaker" not in Faith; but rather as C. E. B. Cranfield puts it, "in assurance that one's faith permits one to do certain things"). He chooses food as the amoral issue, for it is neither wrong nor right to abstain as it is to not abstain.

The "stronger" who eats anything and everything he wishes must not look down on the "weaker" who abstains from certain foods, just as the "weaker" is not to judge nor condemn the "stronger".

Neither should judge himself more acceptable or pleasing to God than the other on basis of his amoral actions alone.

And here's the reason why:
It is not our place to pass judgement on another, just as it is not a servant's place to condemn another servant; each servant is answerable to his master.

The "weaker" must not judge the "stronger" because God in His grace has made it possible for the "stronger" to eat as he wishes; the servant is allowed to stand before his Master; his liberty is approved by the Sovereign.

Paul moves on to talk about an instance when the "weaker" does something the "stronger" does not (as opposed to before when the "stronger" does something the "weaker" does not). And again as before, Paul pays no attention to the reason why that particular action is committed. Such reasoning to him is immaterial because such personal convictions are simply that: personal, between one man and God.

And it is because:
What matters is that each lives to please the LORD in his own capacity by his own convictions.
What matters is that each confesses and submits to Jesus the Christ, to God the Father, and to the Holy Spirit's engineering.
We do not live to ourselves, neither do we die to ourselves. Each will be subjected to the LORD's judgement on Judgement Day; each will be held accountable for his own actions; we do not have to answer for anyone else but ourselves.

So really, the question is how intimate are we with the LORD?
Do our lives reflect that intimacy, that relationship?

Verses 1 through 12 were perhaps written with the "weaker" brother in particular in mind. But verses 13 through 23 were written with the other "stronger" believer taking centre stage.

Is the "stronger" Christian's behavior a stumbling block to the "weaker"?

In Greek, "stumbling block" has two main translations:
πρόσκομμα (proskomma) which means an object that a foot may be stubbed against.
or σκάνδαλον (skandalon) which is the English "snare".

Are the actions of the "stronger" retarding the "weaker"'s progress to Christ-likeness, hindering his path or even permanently damaging the "weaker"'s conscience and sensitivities?
Are they temptations to sin to the "weaker" brother?

"Stronger", take heed especially! "For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died." (v. 15)
Which is more important:
Your liberty to act and behave in amoral situations as you do because you understand what Christ has done for you and are fully assured in faith?
Or the safe-keeping and encouraging of the soul of a fellow brother?

See, the big picture is not that we have a right as "stronger" Christians, ransomed and redeemed by God, to live in utter liberty. No, it has nothing to do with how we act with respect to amoral issues. What we have to keep in mind, always in plain sight is the Kingdom of God which "is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (v. 17)

Rather than letting ourselves at each other's throats and tearing down the walls of each other's faith in conviction (not so much Faith in Christian teaching), seek to live in peace with one another: build up and encourage each other in our walks with our wonderful merciful Savior.

For the "stronger", it may spell foregoing some amoral behaviors and actions.
For the "weaker", it may mean refraining from conferring condemning judement on the practices of the "stronger" brother.

A few months ago, I was struggling with this very question Jesus asked Simon Peter, son of Jonas: "Lovest thou me?"

My instinctive reaction is to boldly and profusely declare a solid affirmation to the inquiry, to profess my feelings of undying love to my God, to want to break out in song and dance, to want to put my hand to the piano, to the canvas, to the paper and worship Him as best I know how and can. Wouldn't you?

That question, "Lovest thou me?", however, remained in my subconscious for quite a while, popping in every now and then to repeatedly articulate itself and remind me of its presence. The more that happened, the more I grew uncomfortable.

Do I really love God?
If I do, do my actions, every single one of them from my subconscious unvoluntary breathing down to my conscious and voluntary behavior, betray my love for Him?
If I sin, if that sin is not a new one but an old fiend, does it mean I love God any less?
Does it mean my love is an illusion, that I'm only kidding myself, that I don't really love Him?

And that's when I realised the starkness of Jesus' pointed question: "Lovest thou me?"

I may be telling the truth as best I knew it then, saying again and again that I love the Lord, saying it just as any one of us would to a good person whom we know, to a person whom we are fond of. The way we say "I love you, mummy" or "I love my boyfriend" is most likely precisely the manner in which Peter had fool-hardily sworn before, saying "though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away... Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!" (Matthew 26:30-35) But this is merely φιλέω (phileō): to be a friend to; to be fond of; to have affection for [something or someone].

And, as Oswald Chambers noted, though such emotion may be powerful, indeed so much that it may penetrate into our "natural selves", it is not where Jesus intends for us to remain when the object of our feelings is Him.

You see, True Love never simply announces itself:
"Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of God" (Luke 12:8)
To "confess" is to ὁμολογέω (homologeō). This Greek word is the compound of two others, ὁμοῦ (homou) which means together, and λόγος (logos) which means to say or communicate; to be the doctrine of; to shew. "Shew" is a verb, an action word meaning to prove; demonstrate; show; establish the validity of something, as by an example, explanation or experiment.

This love of ours must evolve from and yet retain innocent and child-like elements of phileō, to include ἀγαπάω (agapaō), to love in a social and moral sense. Where phileō is the love that chiefly resides in the heart, agapaō is the love that chiefly resides in the head.

This is where the Lord intends for us to pursue, the sort of love that He first showed us is the love that He demands in return.

To confess, to homologeō our love for Him requires more than songs, than paintings, than dance, than teaching, than smiling, than greeting, than studying... It is more than mere displays of phileō; it begs homologeō, it begs understanding, comprehension, embodiment.

This sort of love, the one that Jesus asks Peter the first two times He articulates His question, the agapaō kind, is the kind that penetrates not just until our "natural selves", but into the deep recesses of our spirits.

This brand of love can only be attained, be discovered when we truly understand Jesus' "Lovest thou me?".

It is a question full of hope... And full of pain.

See, with that question, every deception, every little thing uttered willy-nilly, every action, every step, every breath, every heart is exposed and weighed. Whoever said the Word of God never hurts God's people, never hurts Christians? Afterall, "the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12). The Bible never did say that it is a sword that only cuts through unbelievers, that cuts through evil alone; so what makes us think that it doesn't cut through us, Christians, too, for are we not also sinners?

Every time we sin, it gets easier to sin again because we slip into deception and lies and foolishness, because our senses are dulled and muted, the hurt and struggle and pain and guilt become less and less until we forget they were even there to begin with.
But one word, one question from the mouth of God is enough to wrench our hearts, to throw us to the ground, to bleed us dry: "Lovest thou me?"

I have experienced that barren and plain hurt inflicted by Jesus' three-worded question. It is a pain that no language can utter and no mind conceive unless experienced first-hand, because it is one that spreads like an angry and wild fire to the farthest corners of my being, body, mind and soul.

When God asks us "Lovest thou me?", it is impossible to formulate any reply because everything is laid bare before our waking eye, everything that brings Him joy together with everything that causes Him hurt, everything we have performed in accordance to His Will together with everything we have committed out of His Will. And that knowledge of causing God pain really is so much, too much to bear.

But we bear it, nail our iniquities and sins to the cross and carry it on our backs because we trust & hope. We trust in the Lord's promise of forgiveness, trust in His nature, trust in Jesus' paid ransom for our souls, and hope for a better tomorrow, hope to continue walking in the Light of God, hope to become more and more Christ-like, and hope to bring Him greater joy - for that is why we exist, is it not?

"Lovest thou me?", asks Jesus.

For Daena:

Though we're 23 this year, there's still so much for us to learn. But, God-willing, and if you're willing, we shall journey together. Sisters forever.

~Hugs~

P\S: Maybe I'll record this for you and send you a copy when you return from your trip =] I like this one very much too!

Yesterday marked the end of my formal academic undergraduate life. There's still the actual convocation that's coming up in July, but technically-speaking, I'm done. I had to sit for five exam papers this semester, a first for my in my four years in university. And yesterday was the day I took the last of my five papers, the last I'll ever have as an undergraduate.

It's a weird feeling. I don't know how many people feel this way, but it wasn't a feeling of elation. Maybe I'm too used to having my road planned out for me, afterall, my 16 years of education from primary school all the way up to the university have been pretty much dictated by the consensual norms of society and the desires of my parents. Or maybe I've come to realise that just because the hurdles of academic life have passed, doesn't mean that the chains have broken off, my slave-driver has fled and I'm free; it just means I've been processed, prepared and packaged for the next stage of working life.

Anyhow, I was talking with God as I left the examination hall yesterday and He asked me two questions:

What have I learnt from all my 16 years of formal academic education?
Because what I have learnt, that is how I will begin to and probably will live for the rest of my adult life.

What kind of person will I be?

"According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw-"
~ 1 Corinthians 3:10-12

Trudging along the path of mortality towards immortality, what have I picked up along the way and chucked into my haversack?

Did I stock up on things of a perishable nature? Things temporal and of no spiritual consequence nor benefit?

I remember Francis Schaeffer calls such Christians "Ash-heap Christians". These are they who, though saved by the Savior's blood, end up standing before the Lord at the end of their journey with nothing to show, nothing brought that will bring glory to His Name. All they have are moth-eaten clothes and grey ashes in their pouches, because what they have collected have been consumed by fire.

Or have I collected items of value, the gold, silver and precious stones that Paul is talking about? Things that last for all eternity, things that bring much joy to the Lord, a smile to His lips?

"each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done."
~ 1 Corinthians 3:13

Strange, that Paul should contrast these things. In one camp, there is a pile of wood, hay and straw. Strong, comfortable, homey. Smells good too. In the other, an array of gold, silver and precious stones. Luxurious, expensive and enviable. But it is the things in the former that perish in fire, but the latter do not just survive the fire; they are refined by the flame!

What we each have in our knapsacks are evidence for what matters most to each of us, what our heart individual hearts beat for.

Über was schlägst du dein Herz?

Do our hearts resonate with the beating of the heart of Jesus?
He, who is our greatest Teacher, who is the Son, who is one with the Father, identified His treasure: people.

And it's not about the number of friends you have, or how quickly you come rushing to a depressed friend's aid, or how many people come to your party or are your friends on Facebook. It's not about the kind of friends or acquaintences you have.

No, it's about touching lives for Jesus Christ. Intentionally, truthfully, prayerfully, kindly, gently, urgently reaching out to love as He taught us to love, as He first loved us.
It doesn't matter who they are: lovers, family, close friends, enemies, people who have hurt us, foolish people, the simple-minded, annoying ones, losers, the proud and the haughty...
It doesn't matter because He came to save us all, and He did. No discrimination; no condemnation.

We have the capacity, the tools to love as Jesus loves.
We have our talents, our giftings, our own paths to walk, our own situations to face... From the most important and crucial decisions to the smallest, most invisible and menial tasks, all are opportunities for us to heap gold, silver and precious stones into our bags, things that do not perish in the fire, but last forever.

The question is

Will you?

What have you in your rucksack?
Wood, Hay & Straw -or- Gold, Silver & Precious Stones?

Are you an Ash-heap Christian -or- a Collector of Valuables?

Standing at the cross-roads of your life,
Re-dedicate yourselves to God.
Re-commit yourselves to what He is passionate over.

"If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire."

Why, if God is so all-knowing, would He let temptations dance scintillatingly up to us and risk our falling away?

Why, if God is so all-loving, would He let us even be tempted?

Why, if God is so all-powerful, would He not change events in our favour?

He made us, fashioned us out of the dust from the ground, breathed life into us, carved us out in His likeness. He saw man fall. He sees the past, the present and the future; He is time. Watching us, hurting because of us, crying over us, even sending His Son down to die for us... Surely Jesus, of the Godhead three, would know how difficult it is to tear our captivated attention from temptation.

Why, then, would He still let it at us?

There is one particular sin with which I have struggled, and still struggle with. It's like one of them battles from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Pick one. The Battle for Minas Tirith, the Battle in Pelennor Fields, the Battle at Helm's Deep, the Battle of Isengard, fleeing the Mines of Moria... It's like that for me, except it's repeated over and over and over, sometimes daily, sometimes more than once a day, sometimes after a substantial period of peace.

After two years worth of battle with that sin, I thought victory over it was won. I thought I have been freed from its vice-like clutches, its stench of moral decay, the depressing cumulonimbus clouds have lifted. I was right.

But I was wrong. I was wrong to let my defenses down, I was wrong to think it slain forever, to think it lacking the ability to ressurrect, to think it would stay dead.

Confronting my sinful nature is an everyday affair, an everyday necessity if I choose to raise God's banner over His temple, me. It sucks to realise that I am sinful. It sucks even more to realise that that is what I am, what I was born into, what I would grow up into.

But that's the thing, you see?
With a promise of Life eternal, the demise of Death, cheating Hades of my soul,
with a promise of faithfulness, forgiveness, grace, mercy and love like I have never known and will ever know,
I get to choose.

When temptation presents her scantily clad self, undulating her hips this way and that, licking her lips and seductively touching her body,
I get to choose.
When failure rears its head and brandishes its powerful hooves,
I get to choose.
When depression and guilt stare with empty eyes, anxiously snatching with their bony and emaciated hands,
I get to choose.

I get to choose just as Jesus got to choose.
He chose humility, knowledge & wisdom, forgiveness, mercy & grace, gentleness, patience, kindness, and love. He chose faithfulness to the Father above. He chose immortality by the Almighty's side.

The Teacher showed us that we get to choose.
In the face of pride, we get to choose humility (Matthew 20:28; Philippians 2:1-11)
In the face of ignorance & folly, we get to choose knowledge & wisdom (Matthew 7:24-29)
In the face of bitterness, we get to choose forgiveness (Luke 23:33-43)
In the face of revenge, we get to choose mercy & grace (John 1:14)
In the face of cruelty, we get to choose gentleness (John 8:3-11)
In the face of impatience, we get to choose patience (Matthew 16:8-11)
In the face of hate, we get to choose kindness (Luke 6:33-36)
In the face of scorn, contempt & animosity, we get to choose love (Romans 5:8)

That's why God allows temptations and trials to come our way.
They are our second, third, fourth, tenth, thirty-seventh, ninety-fifth, two hundred and twelfth chance to choose to do right by Him.
They are our faith practiced, because each time we choose goodness over evil, we remember our race, we utter His Words, we build ourselves up in Him.
They are our faith alive.
They are our worship to our Creator King, because each time we choose to exemplify Him over our sinful natures, we show Him we love Him.

Sin is not an ailment, a cannot-be-helped plague that has befallen poor mankind that we are to be pitied and accomodated. It is a baggage that we carry, our own tree that we crucify ourselves with. It can be cast down and renounced.

"Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses (who have borne testimony to the Truth), let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us"

~ Hebrews 12:1

That's wWhy, if God is so all-knowing, would He lets temptations dance scintillatingly up to us and risk our falling away?.
That's wWhy, if God is so all-loving, would He lets us even be tempted?.
That's wWhy, if God is so all-powerful, would He does not change events in our favour?.

He loves us too much to watch us wallow ignorantly & foolishly in sin.

Keep struggling, dear one! Wage your Battles for Middle Earth tirelessly and with great conviction. You will claim victory for your King is victory incarnate.

Release your vices, your bitterness, your guilt, your failures, and lay them at the feet of the Living Crucifed Savior.
Seek His wisdom and Truth.
Let Him be your navigator, your little red bell, your disciplinarian, your comforter, your strength.

Remember the Bates Motel from Alfred Hitchcock's thriller, Psycho (1960)? I didn't like it at all. I remember the opening sequence in which the Bates Motel was introduced: it was raining, and the viewer sees the first façades of the Motel through the rain-pelted, windscreen-wipin' Marion's windshield. It was dark and wet and cold. The long row of rooms was overshadowed by Norman Bates' house perched on the tippy-top of a nearby overlooking hill. Freaky. The office was laden with stuffed creatures, Marion's room was furnished with only the bare essentials... Not to mention, the basement in Norman's house on the hill was occupied by "Mother".

When I visited Berlin last year, I could not help but compare the Bates Motel and the Hotel Adlon Kempinski: what a contrast! I wouldn't dare to step into the compounds of the Bates Motel simply because it gives me the heebie jeebies, and I didn't dare to step even onto Adlon's welcoming rug because I was afraid I'd dirty it! Adlon is that grand! The plush interior, luxurious furniture... From the clean and crisp white linen that covers each comfortable and inviting bed, to the heavy, dark brown lacquered writing desks, Adlon is the embodiment of perfection, comfort and luxury.

And then I thought of us, and how our bodies are God's sacred and holy temple, set apart for Him and for Him only. If our bodies are God's temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), if our bodies are the homes within which dwells God's Spirit, shouldn't we then take care of it?

Some people think that those verses in 1 Corinthians 6 apply only to our outer shells, our physical members. And so their theology on this point extends only so far as to advise others to take good care of their bodies physically (ie. don't smoke, don't drink, no tattoos, no adulterous behaviour, etc.).

How strange it is, then, to note that the Greek word for "body" used is σῶμα (sōma), meaning the body as a sound whole, both literally and figuratively!
How strange it is, then, to note that the surrounding verses within which these are located beseech believers to flee from sins that not only suffer the body, but also the intangible but powerful will, control, feeling, spirit. Sins, especially those that stem from sexual immorality and impurity, that destroy and mar the external temple, desecrate the inner holy of holies, and snatch the house deed from God's hands.

That is why Peter wrote for us, "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." (1 Peter 1:14-16).

Just as the Old Testament saints before us cleansed and purified, making themselves holy, blameless and acceptable in God's holy eyes, we are to do likewise, walking every moment in the light, fellowshipping habitually with one another, kneeling every evening in humble and contrite confession of sin (1 John 1:7-9).

Therefore, flee from sexual immorality, flee from impurity, flee from unholiness, for our bodies, physical and tangible, spiritual and eternal, are the temple of God, the dwelling place of His Spirit.

As they say, God is in the building!
Are you, o housekeeper, diligent and urgent, striving to keep everything clean and in order? Will your abode pass the white glove test?
Is there a hidden basement in your establishment that you keep under lock and key, refusing God entry?

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you."

~ James 4:7-10

Invite the Spirit to walk with you on your rounds through your temple.
And allow Him to turn your eyes towards neglected areas now covered with a layer of dust, allow Him to point frankly at secret and closed doors.

So, what does your temple look like:

the Bates Motel or Hotel Adlon Kempinski?

What makes a Christian a "good" Christian?

Going to church weekly, participating in small group Bible studies, volunteering in church, doing our daily devotions, praying at least once every day, saying grace before meals, making sure we drop something into the offering bag as it goes by, saying the right things at the right times...

I don't think it's wrong to do all the above (and more!).

They are what I'd call the "outsides" of a Christian: they're what other people can see. We've a shop with an clear perspex glass front, those actions are our goods paraded in our glass display window, they're the first things shoppers see.

Nothing wrong with that. I'd reckon most of us know what to do so others will see and think we're "good" Christians. We know from exemplary deacons we see in church, we know from the Bible and the characters in the Bible, we know from the advice exhorted by certain Bible characters, we know what it means and we know what it takes to be "good". Great if we actually heed advice, emulate sound and mature teaching and teachers.

But here's where a sly problem can potentially sprout:

Are we all about the "outsides" that we forget the "insides"?
Is everything that is on display just for display?

If our Christianity is just about the "outsides, then, Houston, we have a problem.

Our Jesus is like Mushu from Disney's Mulan; He can see straight through our armours. Jesus sees both our "outsides" and our "insides"!

When He looks at us, what does He see?
Are we liable to be compared to manicured grave plots: grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it's all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh? That when people look at us, they think we're saints, but beneath the skin we're total frauds, full of hypocrisy and lawlessness?

Beautifying our "outsides" can bring about an inverse effect on our "insides".
How easy it is to slip down the muddy, slimy slope into the pit of pride!
When all that knowledge, all that "good" behavior, all that "holiness" gets to our heads, it's more than easy to become ever so proud of ourselves!

And we all know how God feels about a proud heart.

How easy it is also to tote all that lousy, smelly attitudes in one hand, and our Bibles in the other to church!

Rest assured, though, that God sees everything.
He sees our secret sins, our self-sufficient attitudes, our resentments, our selfish motives, our proud characters just as plainly as He sees the noses on our faces and the teeny tiny hairs that cover our bodies.

Maybe that's why Christianity is more than just the "outsides"; it extends its busy tentacles also into the invisible-to-the-naked-eye "insides". It is about the santification and transformation of our "insides", our spirits and souls, that brings about the inevitable change in our "outsides", the body and its works.

As Joe Stowell puts it, "it's not a facelift - it's a heart transplant!"

When God looks at you,
Does He see the termite-infested crumbling house as He did the pharisees in Matthew 23?

What do you think?

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

~ 1 Thessalonians 5: 23

Did you know that the phrase:
"I will never leave you nor forsake you"
appears four times in the Bible?

How familiar we are with that favoured passage! I, myself, have used it quite a few times and have had it quoted to me too. And very often, the quote usually starts with "I (or God) will never" and ends with "forsake you".

Today, I was led to this statement again.

But so what if God promises to never leave us nor forsake us?
So what if it's repeated four times in the Bible?
How do we react to such a declaration of faithfulness?
Do we need to?
Do we simply nod and say "thanks, God, now remember me!" and that's it?
Is it a mere promise, an unretractable clause that we can wave in God's face every time we feel down and out?

Reader, those words are not just words, they are not a printed and unfeeling and inconsequential series of alphabets; they are worth a thousand times more than your weight in gold! And God knew that when He said it and let it be written, forever stamped in the pages of His Truth, our Sword.

You see, God knows, from the beginning of time, that every single one of us, each person, from the oldest sage to the youngest babe, all will face trying times. Temptation saunters by, undulating her hips and licking her lips, teasing us. Tests of our faith and trust meet us like a brick wall that goes on forever to the left and to the right, making us meet it head on with no chance of escape. Giants of fear and terror grow fast and tall like mushrooms, shaking our world beneath their heavy, stomping feet. God knows. And that is why He promised us what He promised us.

The first time, (Deuteronomy 31) Moses said to Israel that he longer could lead them because he was old. But still, they were to cross the Jordan and inherit the land God has said He would give them. They will not be led by their proven leader, and mighty nations stand in their way. And Moses said "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." For where Moses leaves them, Joshua will rise up. And where Moses cannot go before them, the LORD will make safe their path.

Then, turning to Joshua, that strapping young lad, Moses says "Be strong and courageous... The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

After Moses had died, the LORD himself came to Joshua (Joshua 1), Moses' aide, telling him to get ready, to get ready to cross the Jordan River, to get ready to conquer and inherit the land they were promised. And He says "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."

In Hebrews 13, the writer extols us to not be swayed by the ways of the world, to not harbour a spirit of covetousness, to instead be content because God had said "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." And so we can say with confidence "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

When we, like the Israel of old, are faced with uncertainty and fear,
When we, like Joshua, are pushed to the fore, are tasked with a mindbogglingly colossal task,
When we are instructed to keep pure our ways, to keep content our circumstance,

We are explicitly assured of God's continued and undistracted presence and attention.
Because that is when we need to hear it again and again the most.

Such assurance grants us the badges of bravery, of courage and of confidence, grants us the sustenance of perseverance.

We claim it all because we are reminded, surely and undeniably, of our hope, of our trust, of our faith, of our allegiance in the Sovereign One.
He is everywhere at once. "Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there"
He is all powerful. He made the day and the night, the land and the sea, the stars in the sky and the air that we breathe. He calms the storm, feeds the thousand, clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the birds of the sky. He conquered death. He is Life. He alone holds dominion over all.

That is why we are strong and courageous.
That is why we are brave and not discouraged.
That is why we can say with confidence ""The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Therefore, beloved of the LORD,
"Be strong and very courageous.
Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.
Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified;
do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

~ Joshua 1: 7-9

Someone once said that parents should never see their children die. Children are meant to outlive their parents.

I'm not a parent.
I'm not his parent.
Not literally, anyway.

But in a way, I feel like I am.

2 hours ago, he died.

Would've turned 18 in 2 months' time.

I'm the one on the cold, wooden bench with a blank look on my face. I don't know how to feel and I don't know what to do or how to do anything anymore.

I stare at your Facebook profile page,
and glance through your pictures
as I have so often done.

Your profile picture of your younger self looks up,
a cheeky smile just grazing the corners of your lips and lights up your eyes.

A soft-spoken kid, hails not from a shabby background, but still a nice, good boy.

We never sat down together,
have a good long chat over sushi.
We never had one of 'em heated arguments over theology or application.
We never prayed together,
just the two of us.
We never exchanged rapid smses late into the night.

Heck, we never even added each other on msn.

We weren't close.
But strangely, I feel so sad.

Not the a-part-of-me-has-died sad, no.

There's not much to remember.

You were a boy in my Bible Study group.
You were always so quiet.
And we were always having subconscious staring matches.
You very rarely spoke up.

But I know you had fun.
I know you had a group of great friends who love you and watched out for you.
I know one of us, your leaders, cared a great deal for you,
went out of his way to befriend you.

No, we were never close.

But I still feel as though you are my baby.
And I would never wish you ill.

I remember we made a card out of coloured paper for you.
Pink, yellow, blue and green.
With clouds and rainbows on a bright blue sky.
I remember because I prayed over what to write to you, to your parents
while you lay on that hospital bed.

I remember because I was the one who tied all the pages together.
I remember because I was the one who took all the pages home.
I remember because I was the one who read every message that was written to you.

I remember because it caused me distress.

Goodbye for now, my darling boy.

We were never close while we shared time here on Earth,
but I'll see you on the other side.

I'll see you happy, healthy and well again.

Even though I never showed it,
and even though it's too late now,

I love you.

Rest in peace.
But don't rest too long: wake up when Jesus comes a-calling!

My grandmother came over to our house a few weeks ago after paying a visit to the eye specialist. She had lived a life as a farmer before she came to Singapore way back when. So, naturally, she gravitated towards my dad's little 'garden' by our waterfall installation. I watched her take each of the many heavy pots of plants outside into the common lift landing, lug a full bucket of water out from the toilet, and squatted there watering the plants, re-potting the plants, washing every single leaf of every plant we had. Time stood still as I squatted there with her, watching her as I used to do when I was little and we lived together in a big (maybe I remember it as big because I was small) house in Changi, the comfortable silence broken only by short exchanges in Hainanese and the sloshing and dripping of water.

She started tending to them plants in the early afternoon, right after lunch. And she finished, sitting down to dinner, satisfied, only late in the evening. We talked over dinner. She was telling me about how sad she was that too many of my cousins did not understand our dialect, let alone speak it, how I must be a good girl and look after my parents when I'm grown, how I should be looking for a good boy to settle down with... Things that I otherwise would not be open to hear from anyone else, I listened with great anticipation, lapping every single syllable that passed her lips... I listened with great sadness and eagerness.

She, with my paternal grandfather (my maternal grandparents have passed away a long time since. I never knew my maternal grandmother), are old. Her body is bent with time, her bowed legs even more prominent, her eyes grey with cataracts. My grandfather appears to be holding up much better though: he still walks tall and proud, laughs with a hearty guffaw, smokes, climbs up a mountain with still energy to spare much better than I can. Even so, I know the time is ticking. Constantly ticking.

They do not know the LORD. They may have heard of Him, mentioned here and there, but they do not know Him like I know Him.

And I want so badly for them to come to know and understand and love Him.

It pains me that it's so hard to share God with them through words because my grasp of Hainanese is probably as advanced as a three year old's. Why not revert to Chinese if I'm better schooled at that, if I want so badly to share the Gospel to them, you ask? I loathe speaking in Mandarin to them because I am not Chinese; I am Hainanese. We speak a beautiful dialect, not the crude language that annoying emperor concocted. And I know my grandparents get so tickled when I try to speak our dialect with them. And also because my Chinese also isn't that brilliant. I think my German's miles better than my Chinese.

Those urges I keep bottled up inside me burst open and spill out through my actions. I join my grandmother, even if it is in silence, as she does what she loves most - looking after the plants. I listen to what they have to say. I pay attention to what makes them smile, simple things like calling them to eat dinner, kissing them goodbye, saying "hi" to them individually, calling them by the correct kinship term, simple things like that I do.

Oh, how I long for the day when I can rattle off in Hainanese and talk to them so fluidly! Maybe that day will come. Maybe God will grant me the gift of tongues, even if it's just for a few minutes, to speak fluently to them both in their own dialect. I don't know.

But until then, I will try, through my actions and what little Hainese & Chinese I know, and I will help those who try, like helping my father give my grandfather books about Jesus to read, to win them both over to Christ, to the glory of God Almightly above.

Do you know people like that?
People who don't yet know God, and by 'know', I mean to comprehend, to accept, to love Him as we, Christians, say we do.
It could be your neighbour, your friend(s), your grandparent(s), parent(s), sister(s), brother(s), uncle(s), aunty(s), cousin(s), colleague(s), mark(s)...

These people are somehow connected to you.
For you have been given the opportunity, the chance to be in someone else's life, to help them, to change them, to bring them and win them over to God, to the glory of God above, to share with them Life.

You could say "hi" to them every so often, mow their lawns for them without their asking, buy them lunch, do the dishes without seeking praise or recognition...
You could give them books about Jesus to read, invite them over for a cup of tea, introduce them to your Bible study mates...
Take something off their plate to ease their burdens, forgive them...
Show them that neat trick you learnt in Sunday School, sing them that catchy song you sang in church, or recommend that great movie you saw...
You could pray for them, and sometimes, if they permit, pray with them...
Often, sharing Jesus comes in persevering in seemingly small acts of kindness and love, gentleness and patience.
Are you not capable of that?

But beware, dear ones, the time is short.
Everyone dies, but no one knows exactly when each person will pass. Every day, every person faces perils, from mundane daily activities like crossing the road, to health threats by illnesses, to unpredictable environmental events liks tsumanis, typhoons, gusts of wind, scorches of heat, and the shifting of the land beneath the feet.
Jesus is coming again, "Heaven and earth shall pass away... But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. (Matthew 24: 35-39)
Therefore, awake from your foolish and simple slumber, and delay no longer!

You hold Life in your hands.
Are you ready to share it with those who march toward eternal death?

Or maybe the question is
Are you willing to?
Are you aching to?

Look out the window.
Do you see those people?

Do they matter enough...
for you to get up off the couch
and reach out both hands?