peace . love . joy

What makes your parents happy?

Surprising them with a weird gift? Enveloping them in a bear hug for no reason? Telling them you love them out of the blue? Sweeping the floor without being told? Picking up after yourself?

As kids, I think more often than not, we always try to please our parents. It's as though we live for our parents' pleasure, we live to please them. When we accomplish something, we run on our little feet pitter-patter along the corridor to where our parents are and proudly show them our latest victories. It could be construed as our learning to be proud at a young age, but I think not. I think a child, and I base this on myself, thinks very little of his own ego. "Pride", in terms of self, exists not in a child's dictionary, let alone consciousness. No, at least for myself when I was little and I hurried to show my prizes to my parents, all I wanted was to make my parents happy, proud of me. I wanted to please them with what I had done.

I'd run home to tell them I've "beaten" someone in school at hula-hoops, I've read this-and-that book, I've drawn this picture for them..

My world truly revolved around them.
Whatever I did, I sought their approval, I sought their happy faces and enthusiastic laughter.

Vested interest.
I formally learnt of this term when I was nineteen in the Economy & Society module in the university. But the meaning of this term was learnt first at a much younger age. I think you know it. It's when you want something, that's the "vested interest", and you do whatever you assume you must to get at it. For example, your parents only allow you to keep your hair long if you stayed a good girl for a week. And because you really want long hair, you resolve skirt pass all temptations to act up for a whole week, so that at the end of it, you get your wish.

As we grow older, we do things "for a price". We ask "what's in it for me?" before we decide if it's worth our while, if it's worth our trouble. Our stringent demands and detailed scrutiny of fine-prints heighten when we deal especially with our parents. When they ask us to do something we don't like, for example folding the laundry or washing the dishes, we stomp our feel and mumble under our breaths and put on a displeased and irritated display. But when we want something from them, like a new game for our Nintendo D/S or PSP, we treat them like royalty and proceed to work out an agreement with them.
Gone are the days when we do things simply to please them.

Do you treat your parents the way you did when you were little?

Do you treat God the same way you treat your parents?
Do you know what makes Him happy?
And do you do it?
Do you do it because it makes Him happy or otherwise?

What kept us going as children, returning like serial bounty hunters to our parents, was that feeling of satisfaction we receive when we see that smile, hear that approving voice, feel that comforting touch; not that short-lived gratification when we hold that new game, or down that bottle of alcohol. If ever, our "vested interest" then was vested in our parents, not ourselves.

We never did stop and ponder how inappropriate, or how insufficient, or how inadequate our gifts to parents were. All we cared about was that they approved, was that confirmation of love and pride and joy in us. That's all we lived for.

As adults, as youths, we do sometimes pause and think ourselves not enough, not enough to satisfy the Lord's appetite. How rightly so! Surely God deserves much more than our silly songs, our crummy paintings, our awkward dances, our pathetic money, our limited time, etc. What we bring to Him surely does Him no justice, surely does our feelings to Him no justice.

But don't let these feelings tie you down nor turn you away from Him. He searches and knows our hearts. He fashioned and made our beings; from our neurons to our toe-nails. He creatively created us so we can creatively create and give back to Him. Our hearts carry different burdens, our thoughts occupied by different concerns, our bodies react with different stances. He knows. And I have a funny feeling He did it on purpose because He likes and appreciates variety.

So knowing we possess the knowledge and the capacity and the abilities to please Him, to make Him happy, will we?

Will we στρέφω, really twist and turn all the way round; convert back into the way we once were, and put on the seemingly rags of the humble?

Will we be ready to admit our wrongs & re-capture that teachable, malleable heart
relinquish our command over things & re-possess that absolute, automatic trust
run from shady vague un-truths & re-exercise that bold frank-ness
realise our respect & re-turn to that sumbissive stance
put aside ego and image & re-abandon that deceptive, mysterious mask
surrender all & re-ly on Him?

Will we ταπεινόω, really depress ourselves, our ego; humiliate our hearts and minds, and become like a παιδίον, a child; an immature youngling once again?

Do we have the courage and the faith to do so?

'At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."'
~ Matthew 18: 1-4

My Family (2005)

I am nearing the end of this particular exposition.. At least for now unless and until God shows me more to explore.

I will be turning two and twenty come October this year. Two and twenty years (not to mention the approximately nine months in my mother's womb) of existence. We learn and are taught to stand on our own two feet, to be independent. And now, as I am writing this overseas, in the room allocated me by the university, away from my family, away from my parents, I am thrust into the world, far from the comfort and familiarity of home, having to learn to be on my own. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad about being taught to fend for oneself! Indeed, it might even be thought good because our earthly companions, parents, siblings, family, friends, acquaintences, will all fade and fall away. They cannot be with us forever, at least not while we are here on Earth. We cannot take for granted that we shall always have them with us.

I am reminded by my little cousin, especially seven-year-old Aren, that when I was little, I relied entirely upon my parents. I relied on them for the boring necessities of life, my education, my enrichment, my health, my food, water, shelter, my toys, my protectors, my "chauffeurs", my disciplinarians, my ATM machines.. I needed them. Strange how of all creatures, we, human beings, are but one of the relatively few species whose young are born utterly defenseless and reliant on their parents. No bright markings pigment our skin to warn off hungry predators nor changing colours to camoflage, no sharp beaks nor kicking hooves, no tails to swim away nor wings to fly, no stiff cocoon to snuggle in nor ink to confuse. We are, as they say, sitting ducks. We cannot even stand on our own feet!

Even our emotions, feelings of worth, etc. These were dependent in our first years, at the very least, on our parents. Our feelings were hinged almost, if not so directly onto theirs, onto their actions. We value their displays of love, their help, their provision for our leisure.. I remember my parents tirelessly taking me to the library which was at Marine Parade week after week to feed my voracious reading appetite. I remember holding up a whole apple to my mother who sat in our sunken TV area in our Toh Crescent home, asking her to help me because I couldn't take one measely bite out of the smooth and hard surface (my mouth was too small to have a good grasp of it!). She'd take it from me, and taking a bite, passed me the bit that she chewed off and the rest of the apple back. I'd be so happy because now I can eat my apple, starting from the concave jagged groove that my mother had made for me. I remember being so terrified after watching Jurassic Park that I daren't go up to my room alone to sleep. In my parents' absence, my grandmother would take me up and sit with me until I fell alseep.

I felt so secure in my status in life in terms of survival, my position amongst my family and friends from Kindergarten and the neighborhood because of what they did. I did not deserve nor earned any of it. I was not the most well-behaved of children, nor was I the handsomest. But my parents and uncles and aunts and grandparents especially all showered me with love and affection such that I was content.

Today, while I, a person who places high significance on her family still and probably always will, do depend to some extent on my family for my needs, I am growing increasingly independent, feeling that I have to earn merit, earn respect, earn tokens which I may redeem to add to my sense of worth. My mental and emotional constitutions, gradually increasingly dependent on my pride and self-precribed worth, become more and more complicated to appease, seeking approval of wider society and networks more vast, than just my parents, family & close friends. Quite a way from when I was a child, and the world revolved around my small circle of people.

There is nothing wrong with growing independence, for your Earthly parents cannot be with you forever. It cannot be that should they die, you lose all sense of self and decide to live not a moment longer. And as they age, the disc-like table will rotate, and you, their child, will now be holding the bowl and spoon, while they, your parents, will be sitting in the babyseat, now dependent on you. Remembering the past, when you were the babe and they were your guardians, how will you then treat them?

But there is one parent who indeed begs you forever to rely on Him, to be totally and absolutely dependent on Him. He wrings His hands in desperate hopes that you will tie your future with Him, attach your affections and emotions to His.

As we learn to be independent on Earth with regards to our Earthly society, realising where and in whom we once placed our entire faith and trust and life are not eternal constants, learn also to be dependent on the Father, the One who is eternal and the same always, the Rock, the High Tower, the Shield, the Gardener, the Provider, the Lover, the King, God.

Turn back the clock, neglect your down-trodden feelings of unworthiness, for we will never be found worthy of such a Relation. Allow them to lurk such that they keep you grounded and humble, but no more than that. Instead trust that He has the power and the authority to grant us everything we shall need in His perfect timing and way, and at times even what we want. Trust and lay back in His perfect parenting, His deep knowledge of each individual us, & His never-dying love for His creation.

Be a child, the child that to Him you always will be, and let the world revolve, as it rightfully should, around Him.
Be the Leaning Tower against His strong and mighty hand.

' Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
over the man who carries out evil devices! '

~ Psalm 37: 3-7

Elinor from Jane Austen's 'Sense & Sensibility' probably came a far way since when she was a child. Full of sense, prudence, tact and obligation, she even goes to the extent of swallowing her true feelings and keeping them thus concealed within her tortured being to spare her more emotionally-driven mother and two sisters any depression. Probably not all of us are like her in that capacity; able to keep even our feelings secret and utterly private, we need at least someone to share what weighs upon our hearts with.

But still, should we compare ourselves now and with ourselves when we were but children, I would daresay we too are a far enough cry from our younger days.

As children, most of us would probably not care how our actions and behaviors and expressions would affect our standing in society. We knew not the meaning of self-control, neither did we know when to exercise it. We simply acted in the manner we felt like at that moment. If we were happy, heard a tune being played and felt like dancing, we would! If we were just spanked and were surprised and physically hurt, we'd cry. If we felt like showing love, or requiring comfort, we'd run and hug our parents tightly.

Growing up, we are taught not to allow our expressions of emotions free reign.
We are taught self-control.
Self-control is not bad, though. Where it is exercised wisely, it yields great and good results and consequences.

But methinks we over-do it, or we've yet to know when it is appropriate to be controlled, but when to let 'em lose. We have too much concern for our 'image', to aware of the fragility of our dignity, too proud to be 'un-civilised', too afraid to reveal. No doubt we still express our inner feelings, but in a more muted fashion. No longer do we burst out in song or dance when we feel elated, no longer to we crumple and collapse in a pleading, sobbing heap when we feel sad or dejected..

When you worship the Creator, the Forgiver, the Lover, our God, writing a song for Him, helping someone cross the street, offering your seat to someone who needs it more than you do, consoling a friend, encouraging the discouraged, disciplining and advising the young..
When you sit content in His presence and bask in the glorious sunshine of His love..
When sickness of heart grips you in its iron fists..
When you feel alone..

Allow yourself to courageously behave like a fool for the Wisest.
Be a child once more and tear off the mask on your face that is vital in expressions, for I do not think He chose to riddle our bodies with sinews of muscle and ligaments to stand controlled and our feelings supressed in His presence. No, I believe He gave us physical strength to worship Him, and emotional strength to take our 'silly-ness'.
Show your emotions in your own ways; dancing, singing, skipping, drawing, painting, creating, smiling, clapping, stomping, running, hugging, kneeling, bowing, crying, sobbing, sitting, lying, punching, speak, play, etc.

Unabashedly and unrestrainedly express your joy in the Lord!
Uncontrollably and brokenly express your sadness to the Lord!
And all the in betweens, mixtures and corners..



God's Own Fool (Michael Card)

seems i've imagined Him all of my life as the wisest of all of mankind,
but if God's holy wisdom is foolish to men He must have seemed out of His mind.
for even His family said He was mad, and the priests said the demons' to blame!
but God in the form of this angry young man could not have seemed perfectly sane.

we in our foolishness thought we were wise, He played the foold and He opened our eyes.
when we in our weakness believed we were strong, He became helpless to show we were wrong.
so we follow God's own fool, for only the foolish can tell.
believe the unbelievable!
come be a fool as well!

so come lose your life for a carpenter's son, for a mad man who died for a dream,
and you'll have the faith his first followers had, and you'll feel the weight of the beam.
so surrender the hunger to say you must know! have the courage to say i believe!
for the power of paradox opens your eyes and blinds those who say they can see.

we in our foolishness thought we were wise, He played the foold and He opened our eyes.
and we in our weakness believed we were strong, He became helpless to show we were wrong
so we follow God's own fool, for only the foolish can tell.
believe the unbelievable!
come be a fool as well!

What keeps little children from moving off their seat when you give them a time-out? Or when you say "no" when they ask you for a sweet just before dinner time? Some of them may pout or even throw a tantrum, but most would obey and respect what you say anyways. I'm pretty sure you did not put glue on their seats so they sit there and think about what they've just done wrong, and you did not tie their hands together behind their backs so they cannot help themselves to a cookie. No. So what is it that keeps them "in line"?

Ever observed children playing a game, or perhaps even joined them in one? When my seven year old cousin wants to play a game with me, but one that is new to me, he proceeds to dish out all the instructions and the rules he has learnt about the game, expecting me to follow and not cheat (I know this because I've tried a couple of times just for amusement's sake).

Observance of something that is higher in authority than they are is something most children possess. They need not the person of higher authority who made the rules or gave the instruction to be physically presnt for them to obey. They simply needed to know their given perimeters and they'd stay within them.
But it is also something that most lose as they grow older. They go through what is termed a "rebellious phase" where they seem to live only to annoy and to disobey. They find joy in flouting rules and getting away with it. I speak not from ignorance, but from experience. I think many of you know what I mean.

Respecting and Obeying a higher authority is not easy especially when you've dug up their "skeletons in the closet", when you've got way too much pride and way too little humility.
Think you don't have this problem? Here's a simple, but not fool-proof, test: when you're in a class (be it in school, or in church during Bible studies, etc.) and the teacher in front starts to speak, do you continue talking with your friends, ignoring the teacher?

We think we know better than the one who is trying to teach us, the one who is our senior, the one who has the authority. We think them outdated, we think them inexperienced or too "slow" or that they "don't know what we're going through", we think them not worthy of our attention and respect. We think ourselves above the rules, above their command. We think ourselves superior, and them inferior.

Our decisions to treat authority as frivalous wooden toys hurts both the people around us and it also hurts God, who is watching us. He watches us as we choose to disrespect our parents, disrespect their wishes, disobey given rules, not submitting to the authority that He has placed above us to guide us and to teach us because soon we too shall be the ones in authority with the task to exercise our authority and wisdom and judgement over the next generations.

Jesus has asked us, told us to return to the way we were when we were but children, learning, trusting, honest and submissive children. Loving hildren who belong to the Loving Father. The body whose head is Christ.

For if God first loved us, and now we love God, and God loves His creations, surely we must aspire and stubbornly try to love them. Unlovability is not a factor.

So,

'Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people whoa re free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.

Honour everyone.
Love the brotherhood.
Fear God.
Honour the emperor.

Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight o God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.'

~ 1 Peter 2: 13 - 21 (paragraphing added)

'Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."'

~ 1 Peter 5: 5 (paragraphing added)

I've worked with children, for children.. I love kids. I love how when they look up at your face, into your eyes, there's no pretense. When they ask me for something or about something or someone, they take my answer. No questions asked. If they do ask, it's usually a follow-up question, building on my answer and not refuting or doubting its accuracy, reliability or validity. I think there's quite a lot of trust involved here, and trust in someone they've only but just met!

Have you ever carried a little baby before? Or even a toddler, or small child. (If they're not already throwing a fit for whatever reasons,) they hold still and are content in your arms. They squirm and adjust a little to feel more comfortable if your arms start getting tired and droopy, but other than that, they remain as they were and do not cling to your kneck in fear that you might drop them. If they ascertain that you are not comfortable in holding them, they assist you by putting their arms around your kneck or shoulder. They don't care how old you are, or how strong you are, or how "qualified" you are to know the correct method of carrying them; they just trust that you ain't going to drop them and injure them. They don't even need past experiences to back up that trust; they give it automatically from the get go.

Growing up, one of things we gradually discard is that automatic trust. We doubt our government's sincerity, the advertiser's interest, the things we read, the food we put into our mouths, even the people we meet. We simply must "check it out" and verify the data we receive, the sources from whom we receive, we judge by the method it was delivered.. I remember my first conscious putting on of the lense of "uncovering the truth" was in my history class when I was fifteen. We were learning about propaganda, vested interests and to decode sources (pictures, transcripts, etc.). That was when I began to realise that world was not all that simple.

But still, I am quite trusting as a person. I will give you the benefit of the doubt if you say you need some money to take a bus because you've lost your wallet, if you need help in finding a location, or if you want me to taste your sauce for you, even if you're a stranger or shallow acquaintence. Though there was this one time that really shook me and my trust in people. A young man came up to me when I was I think seventeen or eighteen and asked to borrow my handphone. So I said yes. The moment he took it, he ran off. I can tell you I felt very miserable. My parents and friends have warned me about lending my handphone to strangers, but I always thought no one could be that desperate or mean. Apparently, I was wrong. At the moment though, my trust in people still stands though it is standing under the shade of slight wariness.

As we grow in age and experience, depending on our environment and the people situated within our circumstances, we gradually, or sometimes immediately, lose that initiative to trust automatically. It may be from habits and skills we've acquired from school, or from experiences with people or objects even.

I'm not too sure about trusting people, the degree which we would consider reasonable, the expressions that we would consider appropriate..
But I do know that we ought to place our complete trust in God above for the simple reason that He is who He is. His very character forbids Him to lie and cheat, His tendencies and inclinations towards us obliges Him not to treat us as play things, but as beloved creations of value and worth.

We place our trust in the salvation we receive by the acceptance of Jesus' death and blood on the cross as the ultimate sacrifice, atonement for us in all our sinful glory.
But do we place our trust in Him daily when He says to speak to that person, that friend, or that stranger? To put that much money into the offering bag? To do something that is just outside of what we're accustomed to, comfortable with?
To take a leap and let Him catch you?
To take the opportunity He is leading you to, to let Him wrap you in His trustworthy arms?

I don't think many of us can say we place our entire trust, no part lacking, no area left under our control, our idea of standards and utopian situations, in the Lord. I know I can't.
We can't say that when we say we fear, nor when we say we prefer our way to His. If we say that, we aren't putting our trust in His ideas for our lives, in His ideas of expressions of His love to us, in His ideas of the perfect timing and the perfect method.

At times, it's hard for us to relinquish command over areas of our lives. Sometimes, this reluctance to let it go, let it return to the only One whose hands are worthy of steering the rudder, eats like a plague into more areas, even our ministries in church. We think we know better, we think we must plan and then pray for His blessing on our plans, we think if we don't act now, it'll all go to waste. We place our trust in ourselves. And when things go great, our ears strain to hear the praise that belongs to us. But when things take a turn for the ravine, we point the accusing finger to God, we get discouraged.

But sometimes we realise our mistakes. Our loving God points it out to us and yearns for us to come back to Him, to let Him steer the boat.

Question is:
Have we learnt our lessons?
Have we the humility to say we were wrong?
Have we the humility to say it was His doing in times of success, and to give Him the glory due?

Have we that child-like faith, that absolute faith, that automatic faith in Him to trust Him?

Read the Bible and be convinced of His nature, His statues, His promises.
Be convinced of His love & goodness.
Be convinced of His trustworthiness.

And just trust Him.
Put your arms around Him and let Him carry you.

I think that is what Jesus wanted.
I think that is what He meant when He said we ought to be like the little ones.

'Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me;
all day long an attacker oppresses me;
my enemies trample on me all day long, for many attack me proudly.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?

All day long they injure my cause,
all their thoughts are against me for evil.
They stir up strife, they lurk;
they watch my steps, as they have waited for my life.
For their crime will they escape?
In wrath cast down the peoples, O God!

You have kept count of my tossings,
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afriad.
What can man do to me?

I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feel from falling,
that I may walk before God in the light of life."

~ Psalm 56

Let me begin this exposition by saying that I really am not too sure if I'm taking these verses out of context, so please forgive me and correct me if I am wrong.

'At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."'
~ Matthew 18: 1-4

These verses, especially the last two puzzled me. Indeed, I still have a few more little details to work out.

Here is what I don't quite understand:
'"... Whoever humbles himself like this child..."'
What does it mean to humble yourself like a child?
Is a child humble to begin with?

So I decided to explore a few characteristics that most children possess, traits that perhaps most adults, or even teenagers and young adults have lost, in hopes that some corner of the veil between us and understanding be lifted, in hopes that we at least catch a glimpse of the Truth behind Jesus' words.

Do you ever notice that children ask a lot of questions? And I mean a lot. I remember passing through a playful phase where no matter what answer I was given, I'll take it in, but I want to get to the very bottom, to understand the subject in all its glorious totality. So I'll say after each answer, "yes, but why?" My uncle was game enough to provide me answer after answer, right until probably the eighth time I asked "why" and I was satisfied.

The "what" phase, the "why" phase, the "how"s, the "when"s, and "who"s...
Children don't seem to ever stop asking. Even simple things like learning to hold their chopsticks right and learning to read, they'd ask unabashedly. Trusting that the answer(s) they receive are true and correct.

Do you remember that time? When your parents especially are your heroes. They seem to know everything, do everything right in your eyes. From teaching us about the planets in our solar system and identifying star constellations, to drawing us a kitten for our art project, our parents seems the most talented people we've ever come across. We hang onto their every word as though it were precious stones or gold. It didn't matter if what we thought, if our own "common sense" were marked with a big red cross; what mattered was that now we know what is correct. I remember. I'm not sure if you still see your parents in that manner, though. I know I'm edging away from it.

And I think, at least for myself, the reason why I'm putting up speed bumps and hurdles that the information I learn from my parents and even teachers and friends, testing each one at the very least, is because I'm proud. I want to be able to say "no, that's not correct, but this is why..." to them, to stamp a huge angry cross on their answers. I want to be able to say their answers are wrong, but mine are correct. I want the credit when things go right, but shun it when things don't. I want to appear clever and intelligent.
Perhaps For others, at times it's not even because they're proud, but because they're stubborn. Before they even enter in to a debate, they've long since made up their minds that their way is the the right way. So even though they "listen", they toss the sheets of information the other party's feeding them with behind their backs so they're somewhere in their consciousness, but not studied and digested. All they know is it's their way, or the highway of misleading misconceptions. If others will not give way to them, they throw up their hands in disgust, shake their heads in obvious display of disagreement and stomp out the door.

But why is it so crucial that we turn and be open to suggestions, differing opinions, opposing viewpoints, and also encouraging ones?
First, answer me this: why did God create children to be so unashamedly inquisitive?
The obvious reply would be so that they can learn. They can learn and so grow up to be independent and "self-sufficient" in that they may be able to take care of themselves, getting a job, finding food and housing, etc. should their parents no longer be with them. The bottom line is so that they may learn the ways of living.
So we need, we must take on that inquisitiveness, that open, malleable heart in order to learn the ways of God, to grow into Christ-likeness.

This does not of course mean that we go about every debate and information imparting sessions with no background, no informed opinions and no filters; just blind trust. Definitely not! Rather it means that we tackle issues intelligently; with our experiences and information that we've harvested over the years, but at all times be ready to concede that we were wrong, to shove pride entirely out of the picture, to maintain a humble, teachable heart just like a child's.

So are we able to put aside our pride?
Are we able to στρέφω, to really twist and turn all the way round; to convert back into the way we once were, and put on the comparative rags of the humble?
Are we able to ταπεινόω, to really depress ourselves, our ego; to humiliate our hearts and minds, to become like a παιδίον, a child; an immature youngling?

Do we have a humble, teachable, malleable heart?

Do we possess sufficient humility to become like a child once more and grow and be educated in the ways of humble but proud, quiet but exciting royalty that only befits the children of the most high King, our Lord and God Almighty?

Lord of creation to you be all praise!
Most mighty your working, most wondrous your ways.
Your glory and might are beyond us to tell,
and yet in the heart of the humble you dwell.

Lord of all power I give you my will,
in joyful obedience your tasks to fulfil.
Your bondage is freedom, your service is song,
and held in your keeping my weakness is strong.

Lord of all wisdom I give you my mind,
rich truth that surpasses my knowledge to find.
What eye has not seen and what ear has not heard,
is taught by your spirit and shines from your word.

Lord of all bounty, I give you my heart,
I praise and adore you for all you impart.
Your love to inspire me, your counsel to guide,
your presence to shield me whatever betide.

Lord of all being I give you my all,
if e'er I disown you I stumble and fall.
But led in your service, your word to obey,
I'll walk in your freedom to the end of the way.

~ John Copley Winslow

p\s: if you wish to sing this, it is sung to the tune of Slane (is. same melody as Be Thou My Vision)

Last night, I dreamt I was entering my hotel room, wherever it is. And as I approached the door to the room, there was a great champagne-coloured sofa sitting right smack in the middle of the doorway such that one must climb onto it in order to get into the room itself. Inside, there was a pair of dark green simple wooden framed chairs, a pair of plush champagne armchairs, and another pair of deep maroon plush armchairs (though not as classy as the champagne ones), two potted plants, a standing golden lamp, a fireplace, and a queen-sized bed resting on its golden frame complete with white bed linen, two pillows and a pink-ish quilt with ornate shimmery embroidery. Immediately, I set about my task (which seemed apparent to me in my dream, though no one told me I had to) of re-arranging the furniture to make it more live-able as everything was in a mess! A man was present, and also a family member or friend, though I could not see her face, I felt I knew her. These two were in the room, the man dishing out advice and instruction about where each furniture should be, and how I must consider the other pieces as I moved a single furniture, the girl just being there. I could not see the man, but I could see the girl. And as I was re-arranging things, new furniture appeared where there once was none, and old ones disappeared! As such, my job of re-arranging was never completed.

Accepting God as our Lord and Master, Jesus as our Saviour and Friend, the Holy Ghost as our conscience and guide, is quite like re-arranging the furniture in a room.

Your life, your character, your being is the room, equipped with some pieces of furniture already present. As you lived apart from the knowledge of God, you arrange the pieces yourself, under the influence of others you come to interact with.
But then, once God comes into your life, everything changes, whether abruptly and suddenly, or gradually and almost unnoticeably.

No one can remain the same in a relationship with the good Lord, because what we were, our personalities, our tendencies and inclinations, are not the same as God's. Our purposes and viewpoints, our hearts' desires are not the same as God's. And upon entering that sacred and fragile relationship, we cannot help but be moulded by the Father's great love and grace and glory and forgiveness and mercy and honour and majesty. Perhaps "cannot help" is the wrong phrase, but rather, "must" would be a better word, for what our sinful nature desired was not, is not, and never will be compatible with what God desires.

We change for the Lord. We are changed by the Lord for the Lord.

He adds new things, new furniture, to our knowledge, to our beings, to our rooms and takes away others. He causes some rooms to diminish in size and others to be stretched.
We are shaped into beings that more and more resemble the Father, not His disciples, not His Old Testament heroes and prophets and seers, but God Himself.

Dear ones, I am being taught that the past can sometimes keep you captive, but for this instance, I think it not captive, but the route to freedom. Look back, reflect.
How has the Lord changed you?
How has He urged and encouraged and disciplined you?
And how have you responded?

It all boils down to the same few questions one must address daily, indeed every moment.
Do you know those vital questions that demand answers that are lived and not merely uttered?

' Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.

But that is not the way you learned Christ!
-- assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.'

~ Ephesians 4: 17 - 24 (paragraphing added)

'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.'

~ Psalm 46: 10

This short psalm culminates to this exciting and emotional verse.

In the original Hebrew text, "be still" is recorded as a form of the verb "רפה" (raphah). It means to cause oneself to be weak or faint; to make yourself let go; to cease and to slacken.

But the verse leaves us hanging not. It continues to entreat us to "know". We are to "be still", to cause ourselves to decrease in our eyes, and in Hebrew grammar, in order to "know".
A variant of the verb "ידע" (yadah) is used. It means to know, but to know in a great variety of manners; to know figuritively, literally, euphemistically and inferentially; to acknowledge; to comprehend not on blind trust, but to intelligently observe and discern.

And what is it that we are to "know"?
We are to know that God is God. Indescribable, incomprehensible, uncontainable, infinite, all-powerful God of all creation.

My family in Christ, let Psalm 46 be on your lips when you are troubled, when you are in distress, when you are dismayed for it speaks of our everlasting and immovable Father, our powerful stronghold and commander-in-chief, our fortress. Let Psalm 46 be also proclaimed proudly and vehemently when you triumph, when you are joyous, when you praise our God.