peace . love . joy

happy (late) christmas & happy boxing day, y'all =]

the carnival on 23rd went great!
the turkish ice-cream sold like hotcakes and pple realli had fun (i hope)! the turkish guy who came down to do the ice-cream-mess-with-your-head act had fun too, watching the kids and other more matured patrons squeal and scream when he pulled a trick on them =D

the childrens' party was brilliant =]
i know the dancers and the puppeteers had fun! it was realli amusing to see the kids mimic u: i was pushing up lose strands of my hair (the shorter strands wldnt stay tied up, wad with all the jumpin and bouncin) in btwn moves and sm of the kids followed me =D *so cute*

CHRISTMAS was *how do i put this* God blessed and graced.
i woke up with a sore throat and runny nose (think i'm getting a cold), and i had to argue and debate my way thru one irritating p6 so he wld cooperate and deliver his lines. had to get the costumes right for my p6s, last minute fittings for the kings' crowns and gowns, go thru the whole thg twice (with lotsa glitches), rushed my mary, joseph & lil Jesus into their costumes and out into the tent. i was realli worried the whole thg wldnt go well enough, and i'd be disappointed. more afraid that a.Mag wld be disappointed *i realli dont wanna disappoint her*. in the end, the mike wasnt available for my soft-spoken girls who stil wldnt throw their voices after all the training, the music cld not be played as backgrnd cos the actors' voices cldnt be heard over the stereo, sm pple forgot their lines (AND didnt know how to improvise), baby Jesus cried when Mary spoke, but GOD was with us thru it all. i know that for a fact because more thgs cld have gone wrong, i cld have thrown a tantrum and be totally childish and upset, the kids cld have lost interest, but hey! none of that happened =] all of the "cld haves" remained "cld haves", Thank the Lord~!!

had pizza with my mother's side of the family for lunch (didnt help my throat one bit: woke up this morn with phlagm, runny nose and chills), aren wldnt stop singing the nickelodeon's version of the twelve days of christmas! it was cute at first, but believe me, a 5 yr old babbling on and on and on more or less incoherently about the first 5 days of the twelve because he cldnt remember the other days is kinda nerve-grating.

anyways, i wanna thank:

• cindy, daena & puiki for the mousepad with my name in GOLD =D *AAA*
• a.Mag for the realli cute snowman hook =] (smhow i really luvvit..i think i'm a lil off these days..getting happy at the littlest thgs)
• a.Jaslin & u.Bernard for the red&black bee on a swing
• TIM~!! for the lemon-lime scented BUBBLES & the christmas CD both wound with GOLD ribbon =D (thanks sooooooooo much, tim!!)
• u.Noel, a.Christina, jaryl, jeshua for the candle & badge ("always picks the right moment : beware! she packs a punch!" indeed =D)
• u.Albert, a.SiewPing, victor, calvin & joyce for the bodyShop bath thg: CRANBERRY~!! gosh, how'd u guys know i love cranberry??!!
• u.BK, a.Rosie, Shawn & joash for the lovely earrings =]
• u.MC, a.LL, rachel, Rebecca & daniel for the funny coin purse =x
• a. Puaylin & gang for the cool notebook (mebe instead of saying "PEACE!" we shld say "GRACE!" when we greet each other nxt time)
• a.Shirley, u.SY & (the infamous) AREN for the game tree thg =] (mummy & daddy allows us to go stay over one more time for mahjong b4 school re-opens *YEA*)
• u.Tiong, a.KweeTheng & Iryssa for the chocolates (which i cant eat *sob* cos my eyes'll turn red)
• u.Tony, a.Maureen, Angie & mark go-go for the soft bag =D

man, this is like sm Oscar speech, HAHA!

i like it when school's not open. i'm free to do as much as i want and spend as much time as i want in church for God. i know that God is everywhere and not just in church, but in church is where i KNOW i can find other christians who love Jesus and strive to be close to Him. i think that's what i'm looking for: Christian friends whom i can talk to and be with and be encouraged by and encourage in return. we really arent meant to be alone and try to walk the christian walk alone, thinking that all we need is God beside us. that is NOT WRONG in itself, but think again: how does God speak to us? He speaks thru the Bible, thru our thoughts, thru OTHER PPLE. dont shut one of God's avenues of reaching us up by not talking to and mixing with other pple of God.

everyday shld be Christmas! then all of us wld put on our best clothes, go to church happy and alive, putting in all our effort and giving our bests to Jesus in lil thgs we do like sitting in the pews listening attentively, dancing for God, singing carols, acting...that's wad it shld be =] kinda like renewal time..

thank you, God, for Christmas. thank you for Jesus. thank you, Jesus, for the Holy Spirit. thank you for calling us, unworthy and unclean, to be Your children and people. we fall away ever so easily, and are weak. and yet, You still love us so much. that's why i love You, Lord. i try to return Your love, that which is so great. i can only hope to return it fully, though i know i cannot. i am really thankful for Your grace and mercy. i dont deserve it. thank you for gracing the carnival, and christmas celebrations. i pray Lord, that You lay Your healing hand on those of us who are tired frm the events, those who are recovering frm illnesses, and those of us who are sick. i pray that You heal us completely. thank you for putting pple in my life to encourage and push me on. thank You for knowing me and loving me. i pray that You teach me to be more like You each day and strengthen me inside. thank You Lord for everythg You've given me. Amen.

Happy Boxing Day, all =]

when i was in kindergarten, i wanted to be:
a cashier at NTUC
an astronaut
a pretty princess in a fairy tale (i liked Rumpelstiltskin)

when i was in primary school, i wanted to be:
a teacher
an astronaut
the cafeteria lady
a singer
an actress

when i was in secondary school, i wanted to be:
a doctor
a historian
an astronaut
an archeologist
an artist (painter)

when i was in junior college, i wanted to be:
an astronaut
smone who wrks at the science centre
an egyptologist
a SIA flight stewardess
a tour guide
a missionary

now, i want to be:
a little girl again

i miss my childhood. i miss play-pretend. i remember they had a big playground set in kinderworld at Toh Crescent (now demolished), me and my friend wld make believe we were princess, and (i pretended) i had a sky blue velvet gown all the way to the floor, long hair, and high heels. we'd walk arnd holding up (pretend) hems of our long skirts.

nthg mattered then. jus us, our imagination and sm space to use. TV didnt even matter then. onli Sesame Street and sm cantonese drama where they were always frying smthg cld tear me away frm my dolls and the garden outside.

oh well, life must move on. soon, i'l be 20. soon i'll be 50. soon i'll be breathing my last. scary. at least God promised us He'd be with us all the way. God is great in that way: He keeps His promises. it's amazing that God is our friend and comforter, our saviour and redeemer, yet, He's still the awesome and magnificent and regal and sovereign God whom we respect and fear. He's so many thgs at the same time. brilliant, huh? i know i can face anythg and do anythg with Him by my side.
heck, i can even fly if He wants me to.

yep, God is Good all the time =]

Oh, pls pray for my pcm. they're headed to Myanmar today afternoon. pray that nthg bad happens to them, and that all will be as God planned it. pray that they'll be touched by God and the pple they meet will be touched too.

I just came back from 3D 2N at church. Am a little tired, a little high, a little worried, quite excited =]

We watched “scary movie 4” and “stay alive” at (I think 1 \ 2 am in the morn in the attic with the lights off). SM4 was kind of silly and aint that funny (except for the “sushi sashimiiiiii….” Part). SA was better. I like the story line. Should make my brothers watch it. Then maybe they’ll STOP HOGGING THE COMPUTER AND INTERNET LINE.

The lady Elizabeth (I think that was her name) was scary. I don’t like her eyes: they’re too black for her. SA is my kind of scary movie. I can get a little creeped out but still remain sane. But I don’t like that they cut short their deaths. Like the cop in the car, his mouth was supposed to be ripped open length-wise, all they showed was him in his car, and they showed a shot of his car with the inside splashed suddenly with blood. Not very jing cai. But Elizabeth’s house was great. Creepy. She seems to like her scissors very much. That Nathaniel scared me la. Suddenly decided to “boo!” me. See this: dark room, you’re watching a movie that’s kinda creepy, but not downright freaky. U cover your ears cos u know music makes it a hell lot more frightening, turn to your left slowly, and smthg dark jumps at you, clutches your arms and go “BOO!!”. I got such a shock I almost cried man. Then Gabriel came, and the rest of the movie wasn’t as scary as it cld have been. Scary movies are more fun when u watch them with a grp of crazy pple, sitting tgd on the floor. It’s cosier, and yes, u can scare pple silly.

I like the dances we’re doing =]
Puppets were great too~!!
Pple, remember to SMILE and BOUNCE!! It’s the kids we’re reaching out to and energy attracts and is infectious. U DON’T want to perform and play with a grp of kids who act like they’re dying.

I like the sound system thg at the back! So many buttons and slides~!! And I feel so tall sitting on those tall stools =]
(U know, if Yap stands on a step lower than me, he’s my height. I’m so short =[ ]

I CAN PLAY THE BASS~!!
Here’s my thank-you speech: thank you Yap, Gabriel and Nat for teaching me. And the TTB for providing that Bass =P HAHA

Ooo, I think I like being carried. Feels like I’m sitting on clouds that seem to be able, and not able at the same time, to take my weight. How comes u suddenly decided to carry me huh?? I’m pretty sure I didn’t have PLEASE CARRY ME slapped across my forehead and further emphasized with flashing neon lights since I wasn’t even thinking of being carried.

I like Go Fish, tai-di and bridge (even though I haven’t mastered any). Had fun playing with u guys.

It’s nice to serve God tgd: u have fun tgd and u take care of each other. Just reminded me of the song we’re opening with:

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun
Together, we’re there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right

Here and now its time for celebration
I finally figured it out (yeah yeah)
All our dreams have no limitations
That's what its all about

Everyone is special in their own way
We make each other strong (each other strong)
We’re not the same We’re different in a good way
Together's where we belong

We're all in this together
Once we know That we are We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun
Together, we’re there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right

We're all here and speaking out with one voice
we're going to rock the house (YEAH YEAH!)
the party's on now everybody make some noise
come on scream and shout

We've arrived because we stuck together
Champions one and all

We're all in this together
Once we know That we are We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true
We're all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We're all in this together
Once we see There’s a chance
That we have
And we take it

Wild cats sing along
Yeah, you really got it goin' on
Wild cats in the house
Everybody say it now
Wild cats everywhere
Wave your hands up in the air
That's the way we do it
Lets get to it
Time to show the world

We're all in this together
Once we know That we are We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true
We're all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We're all in this together
Once we see There’s a chance
That we have
And we take it

Wild cats everywhere
Wave your hands up in the air
That's the way we do it
Let's get to it
Come on everyone!

God, I pray that what we do is pleasing to your eyes and pleasant to your ears. I pray for the event, that everything will happen according to Your plan. I pray that no harm whatsoever will come to the people involved and the people we will meet. I pray that You watch over us and send your angels to guard us. Lord, may all we do bring a smile to your face and that You will be proud to be called our God. Thank you for sending your son to die for our sins. For washing us clean and making us whole. Thank you for being our God, our God of second chances, our provider and our protector. I pray that we will be forever grateful and that we’ll never forget why we love You. I’m really happy that You love me. I feel so blessed to be able to serve You. I’m very thankful that You’ve promised me time to set things right with You. I’m rest assured in Your promises because I know that unlike man, You will never break them. Thank you for taking care of us these past 3 days and letting us practise without any accidents happening. Keep us forever in the palm of Your hand, Lord. I love You, God. Amen.

gOd bLEsS

me

doctor said smthg triggered off the allergy reaction..problem is we dont know what exactly caused it..cld be the air (which i doubt) cld be stress (mebe, but not very likely) cld be sausages (God, NO!! please!!) cld be vitagen or cheese or chocolates..man, the list goes on and on and on and on and on....*is there ANYTHG i CAN and LIKE to eat??!!*

rem i said that my right eye's shortsighted and my left's longsighted??..and that last time, it was my good \ left eye that was red??..well..now my weak \ right eye's red..and it is real uncomfortable..s'y sm of u saw me drip-drippin' eyedrops ever so often on saturday..if u've gots time to spare, can plse pray for my eyes?..i really value them..and wel..they're my life..if i lose my sight..let's not go there, k?

anyways, drama tmr, most likely on wednesday too..dance wholeday frm tmr til thurs..children's party on saturday and christmas drama experience for kids on monday..busybuSYBUSY~!! i love being busy for gOd..but not TOO busy til i lose focus..

shivs~!! MSG (NOT MSN) me when ure free after christmas..which is after nxt monday, k??..i gots u a present and i DONT want to keep it til nxt yr..plus, i really want to have coffee \ vodka+cranberry with u =] *enough physical exercise, i'm beat*

i hate getting presents for pple..i dont mind giving stuff..i luvvit, in fact..i jus hate the planning what to get (cos i believe in giving each person a different gift), what to write in cards, wrapping, and finding that person to give the gift to..wayy too much work, man, for a lazyBum like me..

BUT this yr, i decided to be a not-so-lazyBum and got presents for every member of my pcm grp..which is NOT a single digit number..wrote lil notes, wrapped them (sm of them are real hard to wrap like that frying pan)..now comes the worst task : FINDING THE GIFT'S RIGHTFUL OWNERS..

but hey! i love unwrapping stuff..so let's spread the cheer, pple~!!..mwahahaha..hopefully i didnt miss out anyone in the grp..hmmm..

shawn jus left for tekong..BUT he will be back for christmas =] *will be missin u til then, ShawnLee..mwahahaha =D

cheers~!!

me

ytd was drama prac in the afternoon and then eragon at night

(just fyi : eragon's so NOT worth it..think i've been spoiled by LOTR and Aragorn *sigh*)

drama prac was weird..first time leading..kinda went alright..jus that the p6s were a lil..how shall i put it..self-conscious..big talkers when others were acting their part, but silent as a mouse and still as the night when it comes to their turn..they gotta break outta that, man..they've one week left~!!

then danced a lil with a.Mag, daena and carty..so fun =] ..i positively absolutely definitely LOVE SUPERHERO & GET UP AND DANCE & KING OF MAJESTY !!

they're so upbeat and..well..nice =D

it's great to dance for Jesus..even if you know \ think you cant dance, dance for all you're worth and dance for God..i'm pretty sure God'll watch and will love it..even be tickled by it =]

talking to a.Mag ytd was great..reminded me of why i chose to stay with children's ministry..to have a chance to be part of God's plan for kids..that we should not look down on them because they are young..sometimes, God's plan for us starts when we are little..like Samuel and David =]

i like the name Mishael =] mebe someday IF i get married and IF i have a boy, i'll call him Mishael..it means who is like God..

here's a lil encouragement for you :

Did You Know

did you know there's someone loving you
He lives in me and other people too
did you know He died on the cross
did you know His name is Jesus

i want to thank You for everything You've done
You love me and gave Your only Son
to die on a cross for my sin
to die on a cross for my sin

did you know He rose from the dead
is risen now He will be back again
did you know He's loving you today
did you know He's the only way

i want to thank You for everything You've done
You love me and gave Your only Son
to die on a cross for my sin
to die on a cross for my sin

gOd bLEsS

me

When I wake in the morning

I will sing, sing I love You.

I love You

As I close my eyes

To sleep at night, I will worship

Worship You

I love You Jesus I love You

I love You Jesus I love You

yesterday all my troubles seem so far away..

i got confirmed and accepted into membership of Faith Methodist Church ytd =]

took me one year frm baptism to get that membership (though i've no idea why i need it..shhh!) so 10122005 and 10122006 are special dates for me =] but i'd have to say 16062005 was more significant..reuben morgan concert..read my testimony..one of my first posts here..hahas, not gonna retype..

anyways, after church, went to meet suf..plan was to go vivo, hang arnd and catch up..

vivo wasnt as big as i thought it'd be..kinda boring actually..considering i'm NOT shopper-material, NOT loaded and i DONT realli like crowded places..dont realli like getting disoriented and feeling lost cos thgs are happening in a blurry fast-forward mode..*shudders*..

BUT

i did like the playground and the wading pool outside =] ..lovely..too bad we didnt bring a change of clothes..hahas..mebe another time..

ate chicken noodles..didnt tast that great..definitely not worth the $$..but heck, u learn where NOT to go..

got a lil tired of vivo..decided to go underwater world~!!..

just realised that it costs $1 less to walk across than to take the bus..hahas =D

underwater world entrance fee : $19.50

OMG~!! so freaking ex~!!

so suf and i ended up appeasing ourselves with coke and green tea and a walk along siloso (my favourite)..

saw a 2 nice ang-mohs..cold blue eyes and tall enough..hahas..

oh oh~!! i proved to suf that there were fish in the lagoon thg =] *told you so!*

the luge thg costs $8..that's 4 bowls of wanton mee..not as satisfying as wanton mee i'd reckon..no kick..

it was realli fun, man..hanging with suf..i think pple bond more when it's just 2..u form a dyad..

"social interaction in dyads are typically more intense than in larger groups since, in a one-to-one relationship, neither member shared the other's attention with anyone else..thus, dyads have the potential to be the most meaningful social bonds we ever experience.
like a stool with 2 legs, dyads have a characteristic instability. both members of a dyad must actively sustain the relationship; if either one withdraws, the group collapses. by contrast, a large group is inherently much more stable as it can survive the loss of many members."

~ Georg Simmel (1858 - 1918)
Macionis, John J. and Plummer, Ken 2005 "Groups, Organisations and the Rise of the Network Soiety" Sociology A Global Introduction third edition, pp. 137-138. Pearson Education Limited

funny how i was never bored..hoped you were never bored too, suf~!!..still remember the shaking of the arse and the gender-confused "zee" mohammed ali guy..mwahahhaha =D i have GOT to meet him!

let's save up and go underwater world and see the lousy fishies..this time, we'll bring beach wear, BUT we aint playing in the sea!..cant think of the sea without thinking of my friends peeing in it..gross, pple..pure grossness..

btw, how's your head??..hope u didnt get a bruise there..my head's fine..no blueblack =] see whose skull is stronger
now we know : sand is slippery..HAHAS =D

i'm gonna get u a pair of bright purple trunks for christmas =P

take care

me

"if you expect nothing, you will never be disappointed"

i never really thought of that saying until recently. now that i come to think of it, it's true : you cannot know the meaning of disappointment, if you did not have expectations of something or someone.

so wrapped up in our own worlds, few of us have really been able to display the virtues of selfless-ness all our lives. that in all we do, we think of others, never ourselves first. to me, that is impossible. because no matter what you think of, it always boils down to me, Me , ME. that's just the way humans are. practically no exceptions.

i'm a little cautious about the whole idea of "human nature" and our "natural inclinations \ tendencies" because the line between nature and human-influenced is, at least to me, quite a blurry one especially when it comes to character.

anyhow, i was disappointed yet again by, surprise, myself.

the worst thing to be disappointed in is yourself. that holds true for some, myself included.

if you take the arguement of the earlier mentioned saying, reason is because i expected too much of myself. simple as that.

pride.

i have too much of it in me.

pride, too much loitering in the imaginary world, and the assumption that everything's all right. terrible mix, i assure you.

not going to go into details here. but let's just say certain things irritate you, in an effort not to use the p*** word. and in my case, little things make life joyful and little things also have the capacity to irritate me no end. when i get angry with something (usually someone having done something, actually), i have to pause and take a breather for fear of doing \ saying something i would later regret. and in that time, i think why exactly am i angry. and it comes down (more often than not) to myself. outwardly, i blame others, inwardly, i blame myself. and that sucks. because i end up being disappointed in myself and really angry with myself. and noone and nothing can cool me down, except myself.

the "self" really is an interesting being. gosh!

cant believe i actually cried because of that stupid thg.

but, as always, gOd has a plan. and His plan is always the best. and it will always work out. and when i look back, i would most probably not have it any other way. *see, i remember my stuff well, hah*

i dont doubt that, dont take me wrongly. i dont doubt that He always has a plan, and that His plan is always the best, and it will always work out, and when i look back, i would most probably not have it any other way. i dont doubt that.

hah

just thought of something. i was upset b4 because of my German oral test. i disappointed myself, and my teacher (who said so herself that it was disappointing). and at that moment, i was really down. felt that nothing could cheer me up. you know, one of those moments where you felt that if you could turn back time, you would without hesitation? but somehow, i cant remember what really happened, i managed to pull myself back together *thank gOd i am not humpty-dumpty* and move on.

this disappointment is far greater in magnitude as compared to that one. perhaps that one was a warning \ test for me by gOd. to slowly get me accustomed to disappointments and setbacks for a major one. not say accustomed, lah, but more like, hmmm. what's that word? maybe "used to"? so that i wont feel like it's the end of the world and try to kill myself.

in that sense, yes, i am thankful. and i always have the assurance that gOd will always be there for me. and other people who think about me when i dont expect them to.

i guess not expecting anything is great. makes the surprise sweeter.

but is that really possible?

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!

Watch that fringe and see how it flutters
When I drive them high steppin' strutters.
Nosey pokes'll peek thru' their shutters and their eyes will pop!

The wheels are yeller, the upholstery's brown,
The dashboard's genuine leather,
With isinglass curtains y' can roll right down,
In case there's a change in the weather.

Two bright sidelight's winkin' and blinkin',
Ain't no finer rig I'm a-thinkin'
You c'n keep your rig if you're thinkin' 'at I'd keer to swap
Fer that shiny, little surrey with the fringe on the top!

All the world'll fly in a flurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!

When we hit that road, hell fer leather,
Cats and dogs'll dance in the heather,
Birds and frogs'll sing all together and the toads will hop!

The wind'll whistle as we rattle along,
The cows'll moo in the clover,
The river will ripple out a whispered song,
And whisper it over and over:

Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever and ud never stop

In that shiny, little surrey with the fringe on the top!

I can see the stars gettin' blurry,
When we drive back home in the surrey,
Drivin' slowly home in the surrey with the fringe on top!

I can feel the day gettin' older,
Feel a sleepy head on my shoulder,
Noddin', droopin' close to my shoulder, till it falls kerplop!

The sun is swimmin' on the rim of a hill;
The moon is takin' a header,
And jist as I'm thinkin' all the earth is still,
A lark'll wake up in the medder.

Hush, you bird, my baby's a-sleepin'!
Maybe got a dream worth a-keepin'
Whoa! you team, and jist keep a-creepin' at a slow clip clop.
Don't you hurry with the surrey with the fringe on the top!