peace . love . joy

Our preoccupation with beauty, some insatiable hunger and unstoppable quest, that whether aware of it or not, is a reality we are all living in and out. I think there's something in each of us that yearns for beauty. Like a grand golden picture frame, the kind they use for beautiful portraits and works by old artists of the past.

Except ours is empty. An empty frame in a grand hallway in our consciousness because we know not what to fill it with. Nothing seems worthy of such a picturesque and beautiful spot.

Clear blue skies, twinkling stars, a box of chocolates, green meadows, massive cathedrals, vinyl records, the blue rider, a red dawn, raindrops of roses, and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with string...

No doubt they are all beautiful in their own unique ways. But somehow, even such awesome speechless beauty doesn't hit the achy breaky spot within us. They just don't measure up to that grand golden frame.

If you don't think so deeply, that hunger, no thirst, no yearning's a better word, yearning for beauty, for things beautiful, to be beautiful, is actually a yearning for acceptence. A yearning for love. Which, if you do think about it long enough, is in fact a yearning for God.

Why?

Because He is beautiful. Because He is love.

Only He can fit that grand golden frame in our grand hallway. Remember always being told that we are created with a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only God can fill? Well, here it is. That empty grand golden frame in our grand hallway is reserved specifically, whether you know it or not, for that awesomely and terrifically beautiful God.

God's beauty is proclaimed and praised throughout the Bible. It is a biblical fact. But I realised that, at least for myself, I rarely sit and ponder His beauty, not to even mention, to long to sit and gaze upon it! I tend to praise Him for His beautiful creations: the people I meet, no matter how lovable or unlovable, the stars in the night sky as I lay on my back and stare through the window grails, the rising of a red sun as I feel the wind caress my cheek...But I somehow forget to praise Him for His beauty!

Is your grand golden frame in your grand hallway filled with the One whose beauty is eternal, is beauty, and is eternal?

I've been meaning to write about this for some time already (before a pretty someone =] did her sharing that Saturday evening during F.I.S.H.). But I wasn't, and am still not, too sure how to approach this, hence the slow action following the conception of thought. How do you talk about "beauty"? So many definitions about it. The world itself has so many that you cannot lump it altogether and say this is what the "world" says and then this is what the Bible says. Not all definitions of "this world" define beauty in its physical terms. But then, how does God define "beauty"? What is "beautiful" to Him?

People always say God looks on the "inside", and that it is the "inside" that counts. The mischievous side of me hollers "God looks at my spleen?!", haha! But the serious, inquisitive shadow of me wants to know what "inside" actually means \ refers to. How is it that God pays much attention to our spirit, our soul, our character, but also pays attention to our physical appearance? You can't deny that God also looks at our "outside". Heck, He knows the number of hairs on our head! So if I say God probably knows the shape of our eyes, the length of our colons, it's probably not impossible nor far off.

I was thinking about something last night in the shower when it hit me. Music.

Think of the music that you listen to. The kind that you yourself enjoy, or like, or even love. To your individual self, that music is beautiful. For example, I love classical European music and opera. Baroque, Classical, Romantic, etc. To me, that is the epitome of perfection achievable on Earth. To me, that genre is beautiful.

Now you cannot physically touch that music you like. Sure you can hold the manuscript, the CD, the thumbdrive, the laptop, but you can't hold the music in your hands. No doubt it is there, you can hear it, it gives you goosebumps, but you can't touch it. It is the tracks on which your roller-coaster of emotions ride, it makes you bop your head (or headbang), sway, jump, but you can't touch it.

The closest you can get to actually touching it, is touching the medium that holds it. The CD, the iPod, the laptop, the manuscript. These mediums all look different, all feel different, and are all presented differently. CD covers and sleeves have different designs, iPods are customisable (you can etch words \ drawings into them, change the color, etc.), same goes for laptops, manuscripts & books have differently designed cover pages, different manners of publishing the notes, etc. They appeal to different people. All are beautiful in their own right.

I think we're like music.

God made the physical body to house the humanly intangible soul & spirit. We sure look different on the "outside". And we are all beautiful in our own right. The roundest, shortest, lankiest, skinniest, flattest, most awkward... God made each one of us. And we are all beautiful in God's eyes simply because He made us. There may be many reasons why God made us physically the way we are. Maybe it is to reach out to that one person who otherwise wouldn't talk to anyone, maybe it is to keep our pride in check, maybe it is to serve as a form of testing, I don't know. But I'm pretty sure how we look like on the "outside" should not distract us from the real beauty of the ball - God. No matter how we pretty or ugly we think we are, it should lead us to God. To Jesus.

God is not just occupied with how we look physically, but also, perhaps more so, how we look on the "inside". Think of our souls, our spirits, as the intangible, invisible, yet magically powerful music itself. Just like how it is the music that is encrypted into the various mediums is the main attraction for us, so our souls, our spirits, our character, those are what God pays extra attention to. How our souls, our spirits shape up, that is true beauty. We can't touch it. But we can definitely witness it in unspeakable powerful magical ways. How much more God who sees the unseeable and touches the untouchable?

A beautiful heart and mind is a powerful thing & tool. They engage and entrance for a far longer period than a beautiful body. They grow sharper and wittier each passing year, while the body dies. As the body fades to dust, the soul and the spirit remain. That is what we are. That is who we are.

While our feathers may be ruffled by how pretty or dashing or cool we look, the clothes we clothe ourselves with, the accessories we accessorise ourselves with, the perfumes we perfume ourselves with, our God looks past the physical beauty into the inner secret heart.

I've met people who just shine. There is no explanation. They simply shine. When I talk to them, while my eyes meet theirs and I see their faces, I don't see their faces. It takes me extra effort to just focus on their physical bodies and they look pretty normal, nothing exceptionally fantastic. But when I talk to them, when I watch them move, I see a stunningly beautiful person. I can't explain it. It's like their hearts and minds outshine their bodies...

How are you adorning your soul?

"Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

~ 1 Peter 3:3-4

Friday morning found me washing up the breakfast dishes while my three siblings were in school, father was at work and my mum somewhere in another part of the house. As usual, when I'm relatively alone, I sing (or at least I try to). And my song choice was "Your Grace still amazes me" by Phillips, Craig & Dean.

I love songs that somehow possess that special magic. Somehow God blessed the lyricist\composer with the words and the music to go with it that expresses so well, the hit-it-right-on-the-nail type of accuracy, what is inside the heart, that which is desperately scratching the walls of the being to get out, to be expressed and proclaimed. Many songs are beautiful. Many speak to me personally. But not many, even not those I myself write, can articulate what I feel on the inside. And trust me, it is agonising trying to find the right words, the right melody, the right accompaniment, the right instrument, the right color, the right stroke of a pen to show and tell God how I feel towards Him. And I really want to. I guess that's why it gets pretty tiring and desperate on my part. I know He knows, but I still want to do something to show Him, make Him proud. I just want to. No, I need to. I cannot not sing out to God. I cannot not try to be miserably creative for His sake.

Anyways, after doing the dishes, I did my quiet time with God. And it was about humility. And the way it was presented was rather new to me and really made me think again, try to understand.

Jesus is the physical, and non-physical, embodiment of two naked truths about us, God's human babies. We are sinful and are convicted by the Holy Spirit as such. We know that God hates sin to the point that He can't even look at it. He's telling us that our brand of 'righteousness' really is nothing more than filth and dirt. But in that same breath, God's pulling us, drawing us close for a warm fuzzy bear hug just like the father of the prodigal son. He's telling us how much He loves us, yes, He'll spank us when we're naughty, but that's how much He loves us. He cares that much to want to be a part of our lives. He'd rather die than have to spend all eternity without us.

It is precisely within that tension of the two truths that real humility lies.

Humility is nothing more and nothing less than knowing the truth of who we are in Christ Jesus. And only a relationship with Him can give us the genuine thing, not pride disguised, nor a ploy to squeeze for ourselves more compliments.

We who are absolutely hopeless are now filled with hope, utterly lost but now happily found.

Do not forget who you are, looking to others to tell you who you are. Do not lose sight of the truth of what Jesus has done for you and in you. Do not forget that your purpose is not to gain attention and praise for yourself, but that you might bring glory to God, using your talents and gifts as a response in gratitude to Him, winning praise for the Lord God.