peace . love . joy

What makes a Christian a "good" Christian?

Going to church weekly, participating in small group Bible studies, volunteering in church, doing our daily devotions, praying at least once every day, saying grace before meals, making sure we drop something into the offering bag as it goes by, saying the right things at the right times...

I don't think it's wrong to do all the above (and more!).

They are what I'd call the "outsides" of a Christian: they're what other people can see. We've a shop with an clear perspex glass front, those actions are our goods paraded in our glass display window, they're the first things shoppers see.

Nothing wrong with that. I'd reckon most of us know what to do so others will see and think we're "good" Christians. We know from exemplary deacons we see in church, we know from the Bible and the characters in the Bible, we know from the advice exhorted by certain Bible characters, we know what it means and we know what it takes to be "good". Great if we actually heed advice, emulate sound and mature teaching and teachers.

But here's where a sly problem can potentially sprout:

Are we all about the "outsides" that we forget the "insides"?
Is everything that is on display just for display?

If our Christianity is just about the "outsides, then, Houston, we have a problem.

Our Jesus is like Mushu from Disney's Mulan; He can see straight through our armours. Jesus sees both our "outsides" and our "insides"!

When He looks at us, what does He see?
Are we liable to be compared to manicured grave plots: grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it's all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh? That when people look at us, they think we're saints, but beneath the skin we're total frauds, full of hypocrisy and lawlessness?

Beautifying our "outsides" can bring about an inverse effect on our "insides".
How easy it is to slip down the muddy, slimy slope into the pit of pride!
When all that knowledge, all that "good" behavior, all that "holiness" gets to our heads, it's more than easy to become ever so proud of ourselves!

And we all know how God feels about a proud heart.

How easy it is also to tote all that lousy, smelly attitudes in one hand, and our Bibles in the other to church!

Rest assured, though, that God sees everything.
He sees our secret sins, our self-sufficient attitudes, our resentments, our selfish motives, our proud characters just as plainly as He sees the noses on our faces and the teeny tiny hairs that cover our bodies.

Maybe that's why Christianity is more than just the "outsides"; it extends its busy tentacles also into the invisible-to-the-naked-eye "insides". It is about the santification and transformation of our "insides", our spirits and souls, that brings about the inevitable change in our "outsides", the body and its works.

As Joe Stowell puts it, "it's not a facelift - it's a heart transplant!"

When God looks at you,
Does He see the termite-infested crumbling house as He did the pharisees in Matthew 23?

What do you think?

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

~ 1 Thessalonians 5: 23

Did you know that the phrase:
"I will never leave you nor forsake you"
appears four times in the Bible?

How familiar we are with that favoured passage! I, myself, have used it quite a few times and have had it quoted to me too. And very often, the quote usually starts with "I (or God) will never" and ends with "forsake you".

Today, I was led to this statement again.

But so what if God promises to never leave us nor forsake us?
So what if it's repeated four times in the Bible?
How do we react to such a declaration of faithfulness?
Do we need to?
Do we simply nod and say "thanks, God, now remember me!" and that's it?
Is it a mere promise, an unretractable clause that we can wave in God's face every time we feel down and out?

Reader, those words are not just words, they are not a printed and unfeeling and inconsequential series of alphabets; they are worth a thousand times more than your weight in gold! And God knew that when He said it and let it be written, forever stamped in the pages of His Truth, our Sword.

You see, God knows, from the beginning of time, that every single one of us, each person, from the oldest sage to the youngest babe, all will face trying times. Temptation saunters by, undulating her hips and licking her lips, teasing us. Tests of our faith and trust meet us like a brick wall that goes on forever to the left and to the right, making us meet it head on with no chance of escape. Giants of fear and terror grow fast and tall like mushrooms, shaking our world beneath their heavy, stomping feet. God knows. And that is why He promised us what He promised us.

The first time, (Deuteronomy 31) Moses said to Israel that he longer could lead them because he was old. But still, they were to cross the Jordan and inherit the land God has said He would give them. They will not be led by their proven leader, and mighty nations stand in their way. And Moses said "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." For where Moses leaves them, Joshua will rise up. And where Moses cannot go before them, the LORD will make safe their path.

Then, turning to Joshua, that strapping young lad, Moses says "Be strong and courageous... The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

After Moses had died, the LORD himself came to Joshua (Joshua 1), Moses' aide, telling him to get ready, to get ready to cross the Jordan River, to get ready to conquer and inherit the land they were promised. And He says "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."

In Hebrews 13, the writer extols us to not be swayed by the ways of the world, to not harbour a spirit of covetousness, to instead be content because God had said "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." And so we can say with confidence "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

When we, like the Israel of old, are faced with uncertainty and fear,
When we, like Joshua, are pushed to the fore, are tasked with a mindbogglingly colossal task,
When we are instructed to keep pure our ways, to keep content our circumstance,

We are explicitly assured of God's continued and undistracted presence and attention.
Because that is when we need to hear it again and again the most.

Such assurance grants us the badges of bravery, of courage and of confidence, grants us the sustenance of perseverance.

We claim it all because we are reminded, surely and undeniably, of our hope, of our trust, of our faith, of our allegiance in the Sovereign One.
He is everywhere at once. "Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there"
He is all powerful. He made the day and the night, the land and the sea, the stars in the sky and the air that we breathe. He calms the storm, feeds the thousand, clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the birds of the sky. He conquered death. He is Life. He alone holds dominion over all.

That is why we are strong and courageous.
That is why we are brave and not discouraged.
That is why we can say with confidence ""The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Therefore, beloved of the LORD,
"Be strong and very courageous.
Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.
Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified;
do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

~ Joshua 1: 7-9

Someone once said that parents should never see their children die. Children are meant to outlive their parents.

I'm not a parent.
I'm not his parent.
Not literally, anyway.

But in a way, I feel like I am.

2 hours ago, he died.

Would've turned 18 in 2 months' time.

I'm the one on the cold, wooden bench with a blank look on my face. I don't know how to feel and I don't know what to do or how to do anything anymore.

I stare at your Facebook profile page,
and glance through your pictures
as I have so often done.

Your profile picture of your younger self looks up,
a cheeky smile just grazing the corners of your lips and lights up your eyes.

A soft-spoken kid, hails not from a shabby background, but still a nice, good boy.

We never sat down together,
have a good long chat over sushi.
We never had one of 'em heated arguments over theology or application.
We never prayed together,
just the two of us.
We never exchanged rapid smses late into the night.

Heck, we never even added each other on msn.

We weren't close.
But strangely, I feel so sad.

Not the a-part-of-me-has-died sad, no.

There's not much to remember.

You were a boy in my Bible Study group.
You were always so quiet.
And we were always having subconscious staring matches.
You very rarely spoke up.

But I know you had fun.
I know you had a group of great friends who love you and watched out for you.
I know one of us, your leaders, cared a great deal for you,
went out of his way to befriend you.

No, we were never close.

But I still feel as though you are my baby.
And I would never wish you ill.

I remember we made a card out of coloured paper for you.
Pink, yellow, blue and green.
With clouds and rainbows on a bright blue sky.
I remember because I prayed over what to write to you, to your parents
while you lay on that hospital bed.

I remember because I was the one who tied all the pages together.
I remember because I was the one who took all the pages home.
I remember because I was the one who read every message that was written to you.

I remember because it caused me distress.

Goodbye for now, my darling boy.

We were never close while we shared time here on Earth,
but I'll see you on the other side.

I'll see you happy, healthy and well again.

Even though I never showed it,
and even though it's too late now,

I love you.

Rest in peace.
But don't rest too long: wake up when Jesus comes a-calling!

My grandmother came over to our house a few weeks ago after paying a visit to the eye specialist. She had lived a life as a farmer before she came to Singapore way back when. So, naturally, she gravitated towards my dad's little 'garden' by our waterfall installation. I watched her take each of the many heavy pots of plants outside into the common lift landing, lug a full bucket of water out from the toilet, and squatted there watering the plants, re-potting the plants, washing every single leaf of every plant we had. Time stood still as I squatted there with her, watching her as I used to do when I was little and we lived together in a big (maybe I remember it as big because I was small) house in Changi, the comfortable silence broken only by short exchanges in Hainanese and the sloshing and dripping of water.

She started tending to them plants in the early afternoon, right after lunch. And she finished, sitting down to dinner, satisfied, only late in the evening. We talked over dinner. She was telling me about how sad she was that too many of my cousins did not understand our dialect, let alone speak it, how I must be a good girl and look after my parents when I'm grown, how I should be looking for a good boy to settle down with... Things that I otherwise would not be open to hear from anyone else, I listened with great anticipation, lapping every single syllable that passed her lips... I listened with great sadness and eagerness.

She, with my paternal grandfather (my maternal grandparents have passed away a long time since. I never knew my maternal grandmother), are old. Her body is bent with time, her bowed legs even more prominent, her eyes grey with cataracts. My grandfather appears to be holding up much better though: he still walks tall and proud, laughs with a hearty guffaw, smokes, climbs up a mountain with still energy to spare much better than I can. Even so, I know the time is ticking. Constantly ticking.

They do not know the LORD. They may have heard of Him, mentioned here and there, but they do not know Him like I know Him.

And I want so badly for them to come to know and understand and love Him.

It pains me that it's so hard to share God with them through words because my grasp of Hainanese is probably as advanced as a three year old's. Why not revert to Chinese if I'm better schooled at that, if I want so badly to share the Gospel to them, you ask? I loathe speaking in Mandarin to them because I am not Chinese; I am Hainanese. We speak a beautiful dialect, not the crude language that annoying emperor concocted. And I know my grandparents get so tickled when I try to speak our dialect with them. And also because my Chinese also isn't that brilliant. I think my German's miles better than my Chinese.

Those urges I keep bottled up inside me burst open and spill out through my actions. I join my grandmother, even if it is in silence, as she does what she loves most - looking after the plants. I listen to what they have to say. I pay attention to what makes them smile, simple things like calling them to eat dinner, kissing them goodbye, saying "hi" to them individually, calling them by the correct kinship term, simple things like that I do.

Oh, how I long for the day when I can rattle off in Hainanese and talk to them so fluidly! Maybe that day will come. Maybe God will grant me the gift of tongues, even if it's just for a few minutes, to speak fluently to them both in their own dialect. I don't know.

But until then, I will try, through my actions and what little Hainese & Chinese I know, and I will help those who try, like helping my father give my grandfather books about Jesus to read, to win them both over to Christ, to the glory of God Almightly above.

Do you know people like that?
People who don't yet know God, and by 'know', I mean to comprehend, to accept, to love Him as we, Christians, say we do.
It could be your neighbour, your friend(s), your grandparent(s), parent(s), sister(s), brother(s), uncle(s), aunty(s), cousin(s), colleague(s), mark(s)...

These people are somehow connected to you.
For you have been given the opportunity, the chance to be in someone else's life, to help them, to change them, to bring them and win them over to God, to the glory of God above, to share with them Life.

You could say "hi" to them every so often, mow their lawns for them without their asking, buy them lunch, do the dishes without seeking praise or recognition...
You could give them books about Jesus to read, invite them over for a cup of tea, introduce them to your Bible study mates...
Take something off their plate to ease their burdens, forgive them...
Show them that neat trick you learnt in Sunday School, sing them that catchy song you sang in church, or recommend that great movie you saw...
You could pray for them, and sometimes, if they permit, pray with them...
Often, sharing Jesus comes in persevering in seemingly small acts of kindness and love, gentleness and patience.
Are you not capable of that?

But beware, dear ones, the time is short.
Everyone dies, but no one knows exactly when each person will pass. Every day, every person faces perils, from mundane daily activities like crossing the road, to health threats by illnesses, to unpredictable environmental events liks tsumanis, typhoons, gusts of wind, scorches of heat, and the shifting of the land beneath the feet.
Jesus is coming again, "Heaven and earth shall pass away... But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. (Matthew 24: 35-39)
Therefore, awake from your foolish and simple slumber, and delay no longer!

You hold Life in your hands.
Are you ready to share it with those who march toward eternal death?

Or maybe the question is
Are you willing to?
Are you aching to?

Look out the window.
Do you see those people?

Do they matter enough...
for you to get up off the couch
and reach out both hands?