peace . love . joy

Tintinnabulation (tĭn'tĭ-nāb'yə-lā'shən) : the ringing or sounding of bells

Bells have been used for a very long time, in fact, they are one of the oldest man-made musical instruments. They are present in a great many cultures, religions, civilisations, etc. Though what they were made of, how important they are and what they were used to signify varies from place to place, culture to culture, a few things remain the same. Bells generally were used as signals, heralders of news and tidings. They do not ring out in any clear language that humans speak, like English, Mandarin, Greek, Latin, Arabic, etc. Even then, the ringing of a bell, whatever the form or adornment, is easily identified as such.

I think we are rather like the bells we make.

Just as bells may be made of different materials, taking on different shapes and sizes, so we are physically different. Even twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets are not identical. Our skin is different in shade, tone, elasticity and texture, our eyes, different in shape and size and color. Each of us are special and unique based on our physical appearances alone. Surely that testifies to how creative and infinite our God is! I can't even begin to understand how there can be infinite ways to mould the form of a human being without repeating! Fantastic. Even if you take only physical appearances into consideration, it more than suffices to holler volumes of the creativity and infiniteness of our God.

Because the bells are made different, even seemingly identical ones, their individual tones and timbre of the sound produced are different, even if it is only by a fraction of a degree. Because of the different circumstances we each faced growing up, the different people that we each met growing up, we each embody a different set of reactive tendencies. We react differently to the same situation, to the same people, to the same string of words. Our hearts beat to different rhythms. Some of us pursue beauty, whether it be in the clothes we wear, the make up with which we paint our faces, the music we produce, the art we create. Some of us pursue love, yearning to find that special someone with whom we can spend the rest of our lives with. Some of us pursue acceptence, longing to fit in to that cookie-cutter mould that the strange society dictates. Perhaps we are all driven, albeit to varying extents, in our thirst and hunger for beauty, for love, for acceptance.

But bells are united, in that they all are used as signals. So some of us are united...in Christ. Our hearts have found the acceptence and love they are longing for. Our souls have found peace. Our eyes have found the beauty that is indescribable in any human tongue. Even then, we take notice of different things. Some of us feel a greater burden to teach and build up young believers in the good faith. Some of us feel a greater burden to go to those still in the dark, bringing with us the light that was so graciously and mercifully given to us by Light Himself. Some of us feel a greater burden to intercede for others. So many burdens! Thank goodness we are so different from one another! While we may all feel and see the need of the many ministries, imagine carrying all those burdens to their fullest extent!

The tintinnabulation of bells.

Bells were made for the purpose of ringing. What good is a bell if it does not ring?
God made us to tell, shout, sing, praise, draw, dance, act, create, teach, (the list is endless!) of His glory, of His majesty, of His great and complete love for us, of His forgiveness. Our hearts and souls and minds must ring out this tune of worship. Because only then, we find rest and feel, no, are complete. We ring to the tune that was first rung two thousand years ago. The disciples of Jesus. When He died and rose from the dead, the dust that had settled upon the disciples was shaken off and the ropes of their bells given a fervent tug, that they may ring throughout and continue ringing for all eternity. While we may walk to places whose language we know not, or face people we know not what to say to, our walk itself would betray what is in our hearts. And it will be recognised as such.

May your every step betray your love for the Lord.
May your every breath be pleasing and of worship to the Lord.
May the dust be swept off your bell, and may it be rung so fervently and forcefully that it may sound loud and clear!

May the Lord God, the Father, go before you and illumine your way,
May the Savior Obedient Son, Jesus the Christ, take your hand and walk with you always,
May the Holy Spirit that was sealed in you grow stronger each day.

May you never forget the "miracle of no miracle".

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

I attended GoForth's last night session yesterday evening. Rev Dr David Wang's message was on the Christian's response to Asia's mission challenge. I remember him speaking about the parable of the prodigal's son and presenting it in a manner I've never heard before. I think it was a powerful presentation, filled to the brim with emotions, and interpreted in such a frank way that many would probably be able to identify themselves as the son, and God the father.

Personally, I could do without the drama.

But the one thing that I remember was the lesson that Rev Dr Wang drew from this parable.
And that was a lesson on attitude.

The son's words betrayed what was in his heart, his attitude, his outlook.

"Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me."
Before, the son's attitude was selfish.
"give ME what is MINE".
Gimme-gimme-gimme.

"I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants."
Afterwards, the son realised his mistake, came to his senses if you like, and decided to return to his father. But not as the son of a respected gentleman, but as a hired servant.
The son was probably filled with shame and worthlessness and uncertainty when it dawned upon him of what he had done.
He returned home with a humbled heart. A heart that beats a self-less, broken rhythm. A heart that thumps "TAKE me and USE me as YOU will".

This change in attitude, this interpretation was what struck me. Possibly because I've never heard this observation and lesson drawn before from this parable. But perhaps it's also because pride and self-interest is something that I struggle with. It's not as big a monster as it used to be in my life, but it still pops by and says hello every so often.

Sometimes I catch myself acting in a selfish, prideful manner. And I wonder when am I ever going to totally let go, when will the day come when my thoughts, my actions will be motivated by only one, my one obsession, my one lover, my one God?

How can we seek God if our eyes are only resting on ourselves?

How can we hear God speak if our ears are tuned only to hear others praising us?

How can we say "Your will be done" if our feet will walk only where we want to go?

How?

I was chatting with a good guy over msn one day. His little wee daughter and I share the same name - Megan.

And out of curiosity, I asked him if he knew what "Megan" meant. You know how names usually have meanings, and sometimes backgrounds, behind them. And besides, the good guy mentioned he and his wife prayed over what to name their girl and this name came to them. He said he did, and wondered if I knew, since I too was named "Megan".

"Megan" has two meanings, actually. The 'original' meaning is arguable since no one knows exactly where the name first surfaced.
In essence, here are the two meanings:
(Celtic) Strength, Might
(Welsh) Pearl

But then, the good guy raised a good point, a point I am glad he and his wife saw. If you take "Megan" to be of Welsh origin (which I do think so), then "Megan" really means pearl. You might be thinking "what? So what? What's so great about pearls, other than the fact that you like pearls?" Well, did you know that the word "pearl" appears in the Bible?

Matthew 13: 45-46 says:
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it."

The kingdom of heaven is the fine pearls, and there are debates over what the kingdom or pearl(s) refer(s) to. Some say it refers to Jesus Himself. Others, to the church. And still more, to heaven itself. In this vein, I would say this kingdom, or the pearl(s), can be taken to mean anything that points one to God.

This parable speaks of a person who accidentally stumbles upon the kingdom of heaven. And upon finding it, decides it is of utmost importance and value that he should want to possess it, whatever the cost. And so pursues it, regardless (monetary and otherwise), with all he has.

I may be reading this wrongly, but I think this parable may be read in two ways.

If I read it as how it is phrased, it may appear that the kingdom of heaven is metaphorized into the merchant and what he does, not the pearls. And the pearls could mean us, the dearly beloved creations of God. God finds us, and to Him, we are so precious, like pearls! And pays the highest price just so He could have us back again. A price no one on earth could ever imagine. A price not many can fully comprehend.

Remember "Megan" means pearl?

I saw myself in this parable, though I admit, I may be reading it wrongly. And that's why I personally felt mighty loved when I first came across this passage.

Though we all may know the Gospel and the account of Salvation through Jesus, God's Son, do you know it as a personal love story? Or do you know it as an unfeeling Truth that must be passed down?

It is Truth, no doubt. And it is of great importance that all should hear and know.

But I encourage you to see this as a personal love sticky from God to you. I believe Jesus remembered and saw each and every single one of us, by face and name and character and more than we can ever imagine, as He hung there and died for us. He died once for all. Each of us are included in that "all". And I do believe that that "all" is not a faceless mass of people. Each face is seen by Him as sharp as can be. And each face is not simply a face, but a person, with a name, and character, and likes and dislikes, and illnesses, and gifts, and talents...

He saw you as He died.

It was a conscious and painful gift and demonstration of the extent to which God would go just so the way would be open for us to be reunited with Him. But He also did give us the gift of choice.

We could choose to walk away. Or we could choose to love Him back.

Dearest,

This second war is really very trying. You'd think after the first, they'd learn and really comprehend the troubles and pain and torture of war, but no, pride and...well, pride gets the better of them.

Yesterday, we were going to meet Bonhoeffer again. This is rather scary: us meeting in secret because if we were ever found out...I don't want to think about it. But so far, so good. I guess God really wants us to learn something, or some things, from this Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Anyway, we're going to give him a piece of our mind! You know, he expects us to focus and meditate on a passage of Scripture for about two hours a day. Two! How can we with this war going on around us? Where do we find the peaceful moment in time, or the place of solitude to reflect and ponder? Everytime we try (we really do try), we find our minds wandering. Wandering to our own families, to when our next meal will be, whether or not this will be the last time we see the dawn...It is just so difficult to be at peace with so many things in our minds; cares and worries.

But I write this letter to you not to burden you with my cares and woes. Instead, I sit here writing this letter to you to encourage you. "How?", you ask. Here is what Bonhoeffer said in reply to our protests:

"Stop trying to fight it. Follow your mind wherever it goes. Follow it until it stops and then, wherever it stops, make that person or problem a matter for prayer. The struggling only leads to more noise and inner turmoil."

And after praying for all our mind can conjure up, we return to Scripture with the peace in our hearts, our minds and our spirits.

May you, my dearest, find peace in this time of pain and hardship.

Much love.

Some time ago, Hansel was sharing his dg's blog with me. Though the last post dated March 12 2007, I still browsed through (the bits that I found interesting at least). One particular post caught my eye.

You know how my Bible hero is David? King David, the one from whose line Jesus the Christ was descended? The one known by the generations as the man after God's own heart?

His story, perhaps most of us are familiar with. But a statement this post published especially struck me:

David's heart was preoccupied with only one thing even while his hands were busy with many things such as running the kingdom and being the head of the national worship team.

Perhaps it is the simplicity of the sentence that draws me, or maybe it is the amazing-ness that attracts me. Or that God is speaking to me.

Whatever it is, I've been praying that I too will learn, in the process of becoming a woman after God's own heart, to be preoccupied, to be obssessed with only one thing even while my hands are busy.

To be so taken by only one thing - God.

I want to encourage you all to pray for such an attitude. That though there be many things to do, many things that jostle for our attention, we keep our hearts solely for our First Love. We dwell only on the Almighty. We reserve our undivided attention for One who longs for it - God.

The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.

Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the ends of the world
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;
It rejoices as a strong man to run his course.
Its rising is from one end of the heavens,
And its circuit to the other end of them;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.

The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgements of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether.

They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;
In keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.
Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me;
Then I will be blameless,
And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Here's a question that bugs many of us, i'd reckon:

Perhaps we're teachers of the faith and we wonder in what way are we worthy of such a post? We know little about the Bible, we aren't brilliant speakers or thought-provokers, we don't pray wonderful prayers...
Perhaps we're in the music ministry and we're always in contact with people musically gifted.
We begin to entertain thoughts that make us feel inadequate or that our own musical talents are silly and minute with respect to others'...
Perhaps we're in the ushers\greeters ministry and we think our job is menial: how can a smile, a handing out of bulletin, a "good morning, mister" be used by God?
Our smiles aren't the brightest in the universe, and sometimes, we don't even feel like smiling.

Or sometimes, the argument goes along one simple line:


For the past few posts, I've been exploring the events that happened, as recorded in the Gospel of John mostly, after Jesus is risen. Let's pick up from there.

'Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?"
He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."'
~ John 21:17

Jesus has instructed them to forgive, just as He forgave them their sins. But here is where Jesus' forgiveness is recorded and seen in excruciating detail. Here is where Jesus demonstrates His forgiveness.

Remember Peter denying Christ three times?
Remember I compared Peter with Judas in one past post?
Remember the theme of forgiveness was present each time?

Well, this show of forgiveness here by Jesus is probably something we all missed. Here is an expression of what Michael Card calls "creative forgiveness" by Jesus.

Jesus' asking Peter thrice the same sobre, hurting, searing question, that even Peter, the impulsive, hot-headed one can feel its pain, was meant to restore Peter. His questions re-opened the invisible wound in Peter's being, one that can be healed only through re-opening.

It is only then that Peter begins to understand that his leadership is not founded upon his strengths and heated passion and impulsiveness and vigor;
it is instead founded upon his brokenness.

All these occurred by the charcoal fire Jesus had made for breakfast on the shore. The last time Peter had stood by such a fire, he was in denial and defeat. This time, it is different. We simply cannot help but speculate that perhaps the crisp smell of burning wood and the sharp, but comforting, crackle of the fire brought Peter back to those dark days where he shot Jesus the "I will follow you always" before denying he ever knew Him three times. Settings have a way of doing that: we remember because of places.

Three times.

Three time he denied. Three times he was asked. Three things he received.

Forgiveness, like he never knew before.
Restoration, that he was dying for.
A new calling, that he was priviledged to be given.

How many of us understand that our leadership positions are not based on what we know or what we possess, but rather our brokenness? Our response to God's love? Our response to His divine and "creative forgiveness"?

Remember how you were forgiven. Remember the feelings and the thoughts you experienced when you begged for forgiveness and God simply said "okay".

May you never cease to thank Him for it, and even painful reminders of your failures...

...because who you are is founded upon your brokenness.