20080702

Forgiveness & Brokenness

Here's a question that bugs many of us, i'd reckon:

How can God use us?

Perhaps we're teachers of the faith and we wonder in what way are we worthy of such a post? We know little about the Bible, we aren't brilliant speakers or thought-provokers, we don't pray wonderful prayers...
Perhaps we're in the music ministry and we're always in contact with people musically gifted.
We begin to entertain thoughts that make us feel inadequate or that our own musical talents are silly and minute with respect to others'...
Perhaps we're in the ushers\greeters ministry and we think our job is menial: how can a smile, a handing out of bulletin, a "good morning, mister" be used by God?
Our smiles aren't the brightest in the universe, and sometimes, we don't even feel like smiling.

Or sometimes, the argument goes along one simple line:

I am not a good Christian. I have issues, things from the past, things that I'm going through now...
So how can God use me?

For the past few posts, I've been exploring the events that happened, as recorded in the Gospel of John mostly, after Jesus is risen. Let's pick up from there.

'Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?"
He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."'
~ John 21:17

Jesus has instructed them to forgive, just as He forgave them their sins. But here is where Jesus' forgiveness is recorded and seen in excruciating detail. Here is where Jesus demonstrates His forgiveness.

Remember Peter denying Christ three times?
Remember I compared Peter with Judas in one past post?
Remember the theme of forgiveness was present each time?

Well, this show of forgiveness here by Jesus is probably something we all missed. Here is an expression of what Michael Card calls "creative forgiveness" by Jesus.

Jesus' asking Peter thrice the same sobre, hurting, searing question, that even Peter, the impulsive, hot-headed one can feel its pain, was meant to restore Peter. His questions re-opened the invisible wound in Peter's being, one that can be healed only through re-opening.

It is only then that Peter begins to understand that his leadership is not founded upon his strengths and heated passion and impulsiveness and vigor;
it is instead founded upon his brokenness.

All these occurred by the charcoal fire Jesus had made for breakfast on the shore. The last time Peter had stood by such a fire, he was in denial and defeat. This time, it is different. We simply cannot help but speculate that perhaps the crisp smell of burning wood and the sharp, but comforting, crackle of the fire brought Peter back to those dark days where he shot Jesus the "I will follow you always" before denying he ever knew Him three times. Settings have a way of doing that: we remember because of places.

Three times.

Three time he denied. Three times he was asked. Three things he received.

Forgiveness, like he never knew before.
Restoration, that he was dying for.
A new calling, that he was priviledged to be given.

How many of us understand that our leadership positions are not based on what we know or what we possess, but rather our brokenness? Our response to God's love? Our response to His divine and "creative forgiveness"?

Remember how you were forgiven. Remember the feelings and the thoughts you experienced when you begged for forgiveness and God simply said "okay".

May you never cease to thank Him for it, and even painful reminders of your failures...

...because who you are is founded upon your brokenness.

2 comments:

yp said...

How can God use me?
How does God (want to) use me?
How will God use me?

Last week I heard a picky sermon that made these distinctions... can u see them? :)

emyegeeayen said...

yepyep =]
they're rather different
for the first question, though, it wld depend on how it is asked and in what context..