peace . love . joy

been reading quite a few blogs and found other pple who are hurting (in every and any sense of the word).

found it quite sad, but at the same time encouraging.

you see, it's not nice to be hurting on the inside. share it with someone, you say, well, what if that thing you need to, and evry christian website u search say you shld, share with someone, is embarrassing and touchy and difficult to do so? that's the minus part.

here's the plus part. when you yourself is hurting, you think the whole world doesnt care *at least i think so when i feel so*. but then, when u decide to just message someone for, oh, no reason whatsoever, and ask how they're doing, they reply "not so good...", you realise you're not alone. and it makes you feel better. it's also an opening for the two to share aches and pains with each other.

guess u know what i'm gonna say next, HAHA.

remb the first few posts i ever wrote on this blog? there was one abt the Great4. abt the 4 main categories sins fall into? i found a bigger problem.

addiction.

it's THE worst problem i'm facing right now, and i'm pretty sure, if you look at your lives, at some point or another, you're addicted to something\someone. i guess "good" addictions exist, but i'm talking "bad" addiction here. addiction that turns the focus away from God. addiction that takes time that you could have spent serving God with your thoughts, actions...addiction that draws you further from God.

this has become such a big problem for me such that i find it hard to stop thinking about it.

i first tried to stop\ curb my addiction few weeks back.
i asked God for strength, and every time the thought came to my mind, i pushed it aside (if i could) or simply said "megan, no." and turned my attention smwhere else.

NOT effective.
it worked for like a week or less, then i had a relapse. went back to satisfy my craving.

it sucked cos i knew it was bad. and i knew it was wrong. and i knew God was angry and upset and sad. and i felt so ashamed of myself.

so i'm trying once more to flee frm temptation\addiction. this is my second attempt. been about 4 days since i started my 2nd "fleeing away" frm temptation territory. and so far, so good. but anythg can happen.

i've been reading up on Christian materials that are geared towards helping pple battle addiction. and it's been helping.

but they all say the same thing: tell a friend who can help you along.

freaky.

Friends help :
talk with God. tell God your troubles and know that He hears you. ask for strength and he will give it to you. ask for forgiveness and it will be granted.
tell a friend about your problem. what you are facing. everytime you feel the urge or about to cave in to temptation, call that person and talk on the phone.

Leave that place\thing :
Dr Ravi Zaccharias calls it situational amputation. if it's something that causes you to approach relapse, turn away frm it. if it's a place, or even some people, stop going there, stop mixing with them. cut off all ties to anything & anyone that can steer you back to sin city.

Entertain "turning back" thoughts no more :
the mind is strong. sometimes, "situational amputation" aint enough. you still entertain thoughts that envision you satisfying your cravings. put up a road block that prevents those thoughts from being expanded\built upon, or better yet, from coming back. tell yourself "no." and listen to yourself.
turn your attention on something else. if exercising helps take your mind off thinking about your addiction, exercise. if talking to someone about something else helps, go talk to someone.

Embark on a sprint back to God :
turn your back onto sin, and walk, no, RUN back to God.
meditate on God's works (Psalms 143:5), precepts (Psalms 119:15), statutes (Psalms 119:99)and promises (Psalms 119:148).
turn your thoughts and actions back to focussing on what really matters. back to the one who really matters - God.

FLEE from temptation. FLEE from your addiction(s). FLEE back to the wonderful presence of God.