peace . love . joy

i've been struggling a little..okay, fine! coupla inches more than just a little..

i've been sinning, and i KNOW i've been sinning. i know exactly what the sin i commited was.

and even though i keep coming to God again and again, on my knees to say i'm sorry and to ask His forgiveness, i feel bad. get this, He replied me. He said "okay". God said "okay" to forgiving me. and i'm just so stunned. i always knew it'd be that easy for Him, but i never did comprehend just how easy it was for Him to forgive.

"okay."

and everytime i ask for forgiveness, and receive it, i ask for strength to try again. not try again, as in sin again! but try again as in not sin. start all over. well, not ALL over, but frm that instant.

thg is, i just keep sinning. same thg. all over again. and it's so hard! to know ure forgiven is wonderful! but to keep sinning, trying hard to REPENT is difficult =(

and i was reminded time and again about what i've learnt from TTB leaders' retreat\camp, and again, yesterday during quality time with God.

is your theology one that pushes you away from God when u fall, or brings you back?

does what you know about God make you run away and hide when you sin, and i say WHEN you sin because, heh, we all sin.
or does your knowledge and relationship with God draw you closer to Him when that happens?

you might tick the second idea without a second thought, but lemme tell you, so did i.

and here i am, finally understanding what that question is asking. comprehending the weight of the idea those words carry.

the struggle. is it all worth it? what are we struggling for in the first place?

are you sure what you believe in is real?

it all comes back to your faith. faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. (Heb 11:1)

hold on to your faith. to the good allegiance you have established with the LORD our God. remember His statues, His works, Him.
not just what you read in the Bible, remember what He has done for you. His daily blessing, His words of encouragement, His miracles.

the LORD, our God is real.

i believe.

without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. (Heb 11:6)

and having faith in God, we can please God who deserves and is worthy and is being praised. the Bible is full of ways in which we can please Him. He also speaks to us, each of us, individually, to tell us how to please Him. for instance, Eric Lyddell, an Olympic class runner, said "God made me fast, and i feel His pleasure when i run."

pleasing God also includes coming to Him to ask His forgiveness for the sins we commit knowingly and unknowingly and the good we did not do. for If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) All the prophets testify about Him that everyone who believes in Him recieves forgiveness of sins through His (Jesus') name. (Acts 10:47)

yes, we can please Him, but why struggle? if He forgives us if only we ask, why struggle?

my dear children, i write this to you so that you will not sin. but if anyone does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense -- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. we know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands. the man who says, "i know Him," but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in Him. this is how we know we are in Him: whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did. (1 John 2:1-6)

we struggle because we love Him. we struggle out of love and because of Love. we struggle because we live in a world who does not know Him..yet

when we struggle, and fall, we will rise again, for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. (Proverbs 24:16)

"when God convicts us of our sin, it's not to drive us to despair, but to send us into the open arms of Jesus.
that's really what the 10 commandments is all about: to show us our need for Jesus."
(OJ, July 17 2007, "the heart of the matter", Greg Laurie)

so though the world is full of temptations, and our own mind has a "dark side", struggle AGAINST them! take no part in their activities! But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (1 Tim 6:11-12)

Finally, brothers (and sisters!), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pur, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me (Paul) -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Phil 4:8-9)

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13) for His power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor 12:9a)