peace . love . joy

sometimes when ure on the verge of beginning something really awesome; you're just about to walk thru the door to a whole new chapter in your life; you've said "yes" to God and are contracting the muscles in your thigh as you raise you leg to take the first step, something happens to make you think twice, to make you wonder if this is all just a big mistake.

i know of some who've experienced what's described above. and that "something" that happened was their parents voicing their doubts of their capabilities.

it's true, you know, what the parents say.
we are not capable of great things. we are not capable of even speaking words of wisdom and encouragement. we are not strong enough to weather turbulent seas and rough storms in our own 1-to-1 relationships, let alone our ministries.
we are not even worthy of such a position entailing such responsibilities. we have done nothing to deserve God's trust. we have done nothing to deserve God's chances. we have done nothing to deserve God's love.

but here's the thing: God never makes a mistake.
if He makes mistakes, He could've hit another town instead of Sodom and Gomorrah, He could've made Ehud right-handed instead of left-handed, Jesus could've gone to another place to pray in Gethsemane's stead, heck, He could've gotten lost on the way to Jerusalem. No, i do not believe my God is a God who makes mistakes.
if that is so, then He most certainly did not make a mistake in choosing you to take on that role, that responsibility, that task.

why then does He permit "somethings" to happen, to make you stop and wonder?

reality check.
it is not in our nature to be humble. we struggle to be humble; that act of struggling already shows that it is not in our nature. if it were in our nature to be humble, why would God go to such lengths as to record in the Bible time and time again reminders for followers to practise humility?
when people says things that cut us so deep, sowing doubts about our capabilities and worthiness, it reminds us that God is the one who is working here. God, and not us. it reminds us at the end of that period or project to look back, see all the goodness and sweet fruits of labor, and realise that this is not from us, but from God. this is all God's doing and not ours. it reminds us of who is in control and to who credit is due.

awesomeness and gratefulness.
we are not deserving. we are not worthy. we are not capable.
but the fact is God still loves us. He cannot help it. it is His nature. He cannot not love us. He does not love us for what we do or what we are, but He loves us because of what He is.
"no one could ever, by himself, be strictly worthy to be loved with such a love" ~ New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton (yes, Merton is a Catholic, but we still love the same God, no?)
and because He loves us, we become worthy. it is by grace, it is by mercy, it is by love. and that is why we cannot boast. all is a gift. all we do not deserve.
and yet He chose you. He chose you to be in that situation at that point in time. He chose you.
you.
is that not awesome? are you not grateful for who God is? is it not fantastically exciting to see what God can do through you?

pray.
it is an opportunity for you to draw closer to God. when you need comfort, when you need affirmation, when you need strength, when you need love, God is just a prayer away. and He is waiting, He is restless, He wants to speak with you.
"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." ~ Jeremiah 33:3
"But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, when you turn to the LORD your God and obey His voice (for the LORD your God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant of your fathers which He swore to them." ~ Deuteronomy 4:29-31

the worst thing you can do after that "something" is to dwell on that "something".
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13
the temptation to give up, it is not uncommon. look: i have provided one way for you to stand up under it. there are many other ways others have seen (by this i mean something like enlightenment) and made known that you can take to bear it. dont buckle under the temptation you can rise up from. dont stay down when you can get up.

may this song encourage you and give you new revelations about a familiar passage, story, truth:



Shepherd Boy -- Ray Boltz

One by one Jesse's sons
Stood before the prophet
Their father knew a king would soon be found

And each one passed
Except the last
No one thought to call him
Surely he would never wear a crown

But when others see a shepherd boy, God may see a king
Even though your life seems filled wWith ordinary things
In just a moment He can touch you and everything will change
When others see a shepherd boy, God may see a king

One by one problems come
And dreams get shattered
And sometimes it's hard to understand

But things like chance
And circumstance
They don't really matter
Our Father holds tomorrow in His hands

But when others see a shepherd boy, God may see a king
Even though your life seems filled With ordinary things
In just a moment He can touch you And everything will change
When others see a shepherd boy, God may see a king

Well it wasn't the oldest, it wasn't the strongest chosen on that day
And yet the giants fell and nations trembled when they stood in his way

But when others see a shepherd boy, God may see a king
Even though your life seems filled With ordinary things
In just a moment He can touch you And everything will change
When others see a shepherd boy, God may see a king