peace . love . joy

talking to shivs jus now made me voice out smthg i've been feeling quite a long time le..long as in a few weeks..

this is for the pple i've "confessed" to abt my crush on Q..pretty sure sm of u are happy (perhaps even relieved) that i've conceded defeat and resigned to the cold unforgiving reality of this world =]

~.~.~

me :
u know how smtimes, when we know for sure that the odds are stacked so high against us and wad we want is realli close to impossible..like a hair's breadth away frm impossible, we cease to hope..and resign ourselves to the fact that it'd be impossible..
and then we make up reasons why we concede defeat to make it less "painful" more so for ourselves than others..
i think it's happening to me..

shivs :
serious?! how so?

me :
u know wad

shivs : yes?

me :
like i'm bound to have to face the reality that my crush on Q will nv be more than a crush..
and "instinctively" i'd rather not waste time fantasizing and wishing and hoping for a dream that will practially nv come true..and focus on smone else who can give me what i want at this point in time..
makes much more sense
i mean..y wld i want to make myself upset and like "pine" over smone who'll probably never ever feel the same way abt me?
it's ridiculous!
i'd much rather be happy than depressed..

shivs :
yea
i know what you mean

~.~.~

yea..feel a lil lighter now..not realli happier..but lighter..wadever that means..haha..

mebe meetin suf, shir and the others nxt saturday for a get tgd of ex-mates!! =]

depends on myself, and also my parents..yes, i still listen to my parents even though i'm 1 yr away frm the big 2 0, their opinions matter..i'm the guai kia..while i'm still living under their roof, it's safest and the most diplomatic to play & live by their rules..that way, the chances of leading a relatively peaceful existence are higher..at least in my house..

shir called my bluff..darn!!..

~.~.~

me :
i'm not sure if i wanna go not
cos i'm havin my exams the following week

shir :
hmmm..
just go for a while lo?
u cant study at night anyways rite?
lol..

~.~.~

hahas..i'l try my best to finish all my wrk b4 then, ya??..

hopefully, we'll meet nxt saturday, guys =]

til then

me