peace . love . joy

Yesterday marked the last of my twenty years outside my mother's womb.

It ended with a $111.00 bill for a home-made hawaiian pizza, a plate of lamb shanks with pasta, a plate of oven-baked chicken with potatos, a plate of spaghetti bolognese, four plates of beef lasagna, two small bottles of peach concentrate, and three of apricot concentrate at some expensive but tasty pizza place below my block. After which, we, baby, Yap, Tim Lam, Sam Yew, Carty, Galen, Ellie-belly and I adjourned to the nearby pasar malam (night market) for some Ramlee burgers, muah chee, cheesy hotdogs and packets of biscuits we remembered from our childhood days.

I'm rather glad Hansel did not accept my excuse of being lazy to not go back again (!) to Faith Acts so he could personally pass me my birthday present before my birthday. And I'm very glad God didn't test me, providing me with a willing driver, a sleek and smooth car, and some more company for the short trip.

It seemed like such a big deal to Hansel that I come yesterday to get it from him just so I can listen to it either last night, or this morning (which I did) as I enter into my twenty-first, which more accurately would be at 8 pm tonight. I remembered telling him that I don't understand what the big deal is about turning twenty-one. It's just a number to me. But he replied that maybe it's a big thing to God, which would automatically make it a big thing for me.

I promised God few days ago that He have an hour of my day on my birthday. And last night, I promised Him the best hour, that is the first hour from the moment I am awake. So I set the alarm at 5.30 am just so I could prep myself and be ready to speak with Him from 6 through to 7, and we could watch the sunrise together =]

I was a little worried that I'd not be able to wake up with my not being used to it after such a long time of sleeping in until 7, so I made God promise He's wake me up.

Well, He did.

I rose at 5.33 am, brushed my teeth, pooped and was ready at 5.50 am.

Days ago, I had it all planned out. I'd sing this and that song, I'd say this and that words..
But last night, whilst in the shower, I felt God telling me to listen to Hansel's CD, the one he made me make a second trip back to Faith Acts for, first thing.

So this morning, I popped the CD into my lappy and clicked the "play" button.

I tell you I had such a shock when I heard Hansel's voice through the earphones! I did not expect that at all.

The first track was Hansel's recorded birthday wishes for me.
The second track..now that was really interesting..

It was a prophesy by someone who doesn't know me, and whom I don't know either, as in the never met kind of don't know. It was a prophesy into my life.

The moment I heard his voice at the beginning of the track, I started crying. I started crying because this was something God had in a way prepared me for, with A.Mag sharing about prophesying with me during our last meeting, but more so because I knew God was speaking to me, making sure I'd stay attentive and not drift by using someone who spoke super fast and super loudly, for exactly five minutes and nine seconds.

I remembered A.Mag's advise and wrote down everything he said, even though I knew I had a soft copy already. I filled three and a fifth pages of my journal. The prophesy touched on quite a number of things, but mostly, it was about change. Change for the better, to produce for the Kingdom of God. Something I must prepare and get ready for. Something the speaker said God was saying I had been longing for so long.

He was so right.

The things that he said, some of them were exciting, some of them were terrifying and some of them were interesting.

After I heard and jotted it down, I opened my devotional to today's reading. It was so in sync with the prophesy, I tell you, it's actually freaky.

' Jesus said to them," Follow me and I will make you fish for people."
And immediately they left their nets and followed him.'

~ Mark 1:17-18

The passage was about the disciples being called away, away from the only life they knew, the only place(s) they knew, the only people they knew, and being plunged into a life full of daily challenges, discomforts and surprises. And then, Michael Card specified this "newfound obedience" of Peter's that enabled him to push out into the raging sea of souls and fish for the glory of God.

It spoke of change. Change to something that I so long to consciously see. Change to work and live and breathe for God.

I was reminded again of my calling in life.

And for the first time ever, I had no words at all to say to God.
I was speechless.

So I thought a while and finally came up with
"God, I want you to finish what you've started in me."

And you know what?
He told me to say it again, louder this time, if I really meant it.
I did.
So I repeated myself. In a louder volume.
Then He told me to get it down in writing.

And then He said
"Don't forget, I want you to finish what you yourself have started."
And He told me to get that down in writing!

Haha.