peace . love . joy

love..relationships..

i know what ure thinking: ure thinking romantic relationships. and why not? society seems to place much emphasis on being attached to someone else. and since we're all a part of society, it's only "natural" for us to be caught up on that lil detail, yea?

many of us know how the ancient Greeks defined "love". essentially, the three bigger spheres are:
one. eros
two. philia
three. agape

and if we know that, we'd know what they each mean:
one. eros is romantic love
two. philia is brotherly love
three. agape is Godly love

but do u know the distinction between the three?
one. eros is used to refer to love in the form of a passionate, intense desire for something, and is often referred to as a sexual desire
two. philia does not contain the element of romantic love. it entails a fondness and appreciation of the other. for the Greeks, the term Philia incorporated not just friendship, but also loyalties to family and polis - one's political community, job, or discipline
three. agape is unconditional love. it is love for someone without expecting love in return. as lovers of God, we understand this to be God's unconditional love for us - to be loved when we were yet sinners

agape love is often cited to be the christian's aim. personally, i dont think we can ever achieve it simply because we cannot separate interest from feelings. when we "love" someone, we tend to want something in return - from simply acknowledgement of the knowledge of our feelings towards that person by that person, to wanting the feeling reciprocated by that person. but that's just my opinion. but i do agree this is a "noble" aim, and i do believe since it's part of God's character, and we shld be following God's examples and exhibiting a Godly character, yes, we should strive to attain this.

if evryone seems to identify agape as the "unconditional love", then philia and eros should be "conditional love". if agape is "unselfish love", then philia and eros are "selfish love". which means we want smthg in return, we have vested interest.

but the difference between eros and philia, as stated above, is that eros contains the element of romance, often linked with desires of the sexual kind, while philia does not.

when we "fall in love", what do we mean?
for that, i leave it to your discretion - whether or not you wish to "disenchant" yourselves, and "de-mystify" "love". whether or not you wish to go research on this topic.
i havent really the time to do so right now, so i, myself, am not "qualified" to speak of "love" in the sociological nor psychological manner.
do note that this is one of the thgs whereby one you've learned them, you cannot un-learn it; you will have to live with that knowledge.

(random question: what is the goal of "dating"?)

i'd like to note in particular what the Bible says about romantic relationships.

* there is no compulsory prerequisite to salvation that states one must share a romantic link with another.

Bible says that partners have to be christian. some of you may go "phew! mine goes to church!"
(ahem) going to church does not equate to being a christian. saying the "sinner's prayer" does not equate to being a christian. doing good deeds does not equate to being a christian. having been baptised does not equate to being a christian. a christian is one who is "born again", one who loves God with his\her whole heart and has given his\her life to pursuing and loving God. outward physical actions does not equate to what is in the heart, but what is in the heart is usually manifested in an outward action. in short: you cannot judge a person's motive(s) from that person's actions that you observe. so how do you know? time.

what's wrong with taking a non-christian partner? many quote
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
~ 2 Corinthians 6:14
but hear this other one from the Old Testament
"Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the LORD will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly."
~ Deuteronomy 7:3-4
do you not see the storm that gathers over this path? do you not see the danger signs that guard this road? or has "love" blinded you so, that the real world appears like the matrix? do not compromise your faith. do not underestimate the power of sin, man and the devil. do not overestimate the size of your faith.

what if we've already "fallen" for someone, and that person is not a christian?
what if we're struggling inside because of that - torn between what God instructs and our own desires?
what if we dont want to hear God's bidding(s) anymore, not on this subject or anything else, for fear of knowing that what God wants is different than what we want?

"Master, which is the greatest commandment in the law?"

Jesus said unto him, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
~ Matthew 22:36-40

all i can say is this: how much do you love God?
are you willing to cut the line and be aimlessly afloat in the sea?
how much do you love God?

it's not easy. nothing in this world is ever easy. God never said it would be a piece of cake.

how much do you love God?