peace . love . joy

i'm so sorry.. jus cant help it..

evrytime i think of wad happened..i jus..lets jus say it never ceases to amaze me..

when i was in JC..my christian life was on the rocks..anytime..shld a flippant wave decide to hit..my life wld end..it was bad..

i cldnt care less wad the pastor \ leader was saying..the worship songs..wad about them?..

i knew that was bad..it meant that anytime, i cld simply stop cmg to church altogether..and stop talking to gOd (not that i did at that time..not unless i was forced to) ..in other words..i cld stop struggling for Christ..

i told meihuan bout it..she talked to me..told me that i'd have to make a stand..and choose..

that was smtime in the beginning of the yr..cant remember if it's 2004 or 2005..

then, i got wind that reuben morgan was cmg to Faith for a one night worship \ concert..

i dont know wad made me go..considering that i positively loathe crowds..and it wld take a miracle or smthg real important \ big for me to get my big fat arse outta the comfort and safety of my home..but i jus turned to carty and said "let's go!"..

i even went as far as to invite my friends..i invited 5..of which 1 turned up..my cousin..tracy.. =D

so on the evening of 16062005 (thursday), i walked into the already crowded worship hall..sat right at the back and got comfy..

i cant realli put in wrds wad i experienced there, but it was like WHOA!!

the music was great, yes..the leader was great, yes..but wad realli hit me that night were the songs we sang..smhow..the lyrics realli spoke to me..even thou the songs were written FOR gOd to be sung TO gOd..smhow..they spoke TO ME!!

and by the end of worship..(i tel you we cld have worshipped all through the night and still not feel tired..seriously..i'm not kidding)..i was one crying sniffling mess of a person..that was on the outside..but on the inside..i was neat and prim and all..because all the messiness and crowdedness inside me disappeared..i onli had eyes and ears and mind for one..and one onli -- gOd..

interesting how powerful a simple worship can be, huh..

it straightened me up inside..

and interesting enough..i stayed straightened..as in..i now onli haf eyes for gOd, ears for gOd's words, mind for gOd's speaking to \ impressing upon \ his will..

ofcourse smtimes i stray a little, but the leash is short and retractable..it snaps right back..

i bought a shirt frm the batch that mr. morgan was promoting..on the front it said "redeemer"..i was too shy so tracy (thanks lots, man!!) got it autographed for me..mr. morgan wrote "Megan, Now is the time for gOd's Favour. Reuben"..

at that point in time, i wanted to be baptised..but i wasnt too sure..i mean..wad if i strayed again..and this time..to the point of no return..? (if such a thg exists)

then..smtime near the prelims for my As, i was waiting for my mum to fetch me frm school at the busstop for bus 3 near the school's bball courts..

this lady approached me..

she had black graying hair and was dressed in red..

she asked me for directions as to which bus heads to the MRT..so i told her that she was at the right stop as there was onli one bus that came to that stop and it was headed for the station..

she thanked me and then started talking to me..

i, being the crazy trusting person who cant see the possible bad outcomes in talking to strangers (and lending them hps) ..answered her and made friendly conversation with her..

she told me she was there (Pasir Ris) to help out at a centre..think it was for children..then she asked me if i was a christian..

i said yes

she asked me if i knew where Jesus was

without hesitation, i pointed to my heart and said "here!"

she laughed and said "praise the Lord this girl knows where Jesus is!"

she went on to say that many whom she asked that qn to pointed to the sky and said "there"

when her bus arrived, we exchanged goodbyes, she boarded and i continued to wait for my mum..

AMAZING

i jus knew then that gOd wants me to publicly declare that i belong to him..that i shld be baptised..

who am i to disobey?

i was baptised on the 10122005..along with my friend puiki..

so far so good!!..i'm still attending church because i want to..i get all excited whenever i read or hear anythg about gOd..

sigh..

until now, whenever i think about that time, my heart skips several beats and i cant breathe..i'm jus so thankful that Jesus let me find him..that he lifted the veil from my eyes and let me know all i need to know for now..i'm so thankful that i get to serve the living Lord and strive to please him..

if i had to describe my relationship with gOd in 2 words..

it has to be gratitude & love

Lord, pls help me to always please you and to conduct myself in ways that will make you proud to be my gOd..may i never forsake you -- my first love..may i never cease to be excited and all fired up and lit up inside when i'm serving you..

Amen

gOd bLEsS

me