peace . love . joy

thgs havent been going smooth for me for the past few days..actually, they havent been going well for me at all since that incident..i have yet to learn to let go..i try..i realli do..but it's not easy when pple dont let you forget..they mean well..but it sorta tears me up inside..i can onli be at peace when i am reminded of gOd's promise : if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness ( 1 John 1:9)

seems like i'm trying to console myself, huh..rest assured, i'm not trying to defend myself using the bible verses..evrytime i'm reminded of wad happened, i chide myself for my mistakes and shortcmgs..i get so upset with myself..and i'm kinda tired of always being angry at myself for the one thg that happened weeks ago..my stamina isnt great and i dont think it's gOd's intention for me to dwell on the past..we shld look to the future : learn frm our mistakes & change for the better..gOd's definition of better, that is..

wad keeps bothering me these days is wad eric said years ago..think it was when i was 14..fan zhen it's when i was in secondary school..at least 2 1/2 yrs ago..

he said that the 4 greatest thgs that can pull man away frm gOd are
1. wealth
2. power
3. fame
4. lust

he says that we can become so preoccupied with the above mentioned that we forget gOd..his importance in our lives is completely wiped out \ faded into the background..the numero uno spot taken over by one or more of those..

how true!

when i was in sec school, my mind cldnt rake up evidence to support wad i've jus been taught..and the lesson was soon packed into a box, pushed into a corner of my mind..labelled (i'm a good labeller!!) but forgotten..

until recently, when i was thinking how come i cant worship gOd in services on sundays wholeheartedly..smthg's holding me back frm giving my all..how come when i usually listen to sermons (even if they're preached by pple who arent authoratative \ charismatic \ interesting enough to command evryone's attention) i find myself drifting way too often in the course of say 30-45 mins??..smthg was wrong..

i can safely & humbly tell you that i, megan, have fallen prey to 3 of those Great4 ..i have lusted after pple, i have yearned for fame and i have hungered for power over my rebellious attention-seeking brothers..perhaps the onli one that i have yet to (and hopefully NEVER) succumb to is the thirst for wealth..i have no ambition wadsoever to climb ladders, bring home bacon, blahblahblah..

but the one that has THE greatest influence over me is the one, the only -- LUST

lust has the amazing ability to plonk it's big generous self onto the CEO's chair of my life and jus get real comfy..it has no desire to leave, nor do i wish it to go (most of the time)..

smtimes, it is the culprit behind my lack of sincerity in praising and worshipping gOd..

but smtimes, it is MYSELF..

my thoughts grow wild and untamed..i get so preoccupied by wad i am thinking about that i jus forget where i am, how i got there and wad i am doing there..i need to put a leash on my thoughts..tie it tight when i need to focus on smthg..gOd help me..

wad is overtaking YOU today??..wad is causing you to lose focus on gOd??..who is blurring your vision??..

isit one \more of the Great4??

isit your thoughts??

wad isit??

that's the first step..

the second is this : ask yourself, do YOU WANT it to stop??

perhaps you yourself are powerless over wadever's causing you to drift away frm gOd..but one thg's for sure!!

gOd IS MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYTHG U'LL EVER ENCOUNTER

Jerimiah 32:27 says : Behold, I am the Lord, the gOd of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?
Matthew 19:26 says : And looking upon them, Jesus said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with gOd all things are possible"

talk to gOd..tell him your shortcmgs..he knows wad u are lacking in..and he knows how to equip you appropriately and timely..

He is willing and ever-ready to help and teach you..

but you are given the choice :

are you able to humble yourself by acknowledging you are weak and powerless and accepting the fact that you need help frm gOd, and so, asking for his hand to hold?

or are you unable to swallow your pride and ego, rejecting his help..preferring to address issues with your own strength?

(i myself have been proud..but that's another post for another time..)

For I am the Lord, your gOd,
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you
Isaiah 41:13

gOd bLEsS

me