20061013

not so good wednesday

wednesday wasnt a very good day..or mebe i was jus being oversensitive..i realli hope it is the latter..

i think i was sorta like the final straw for smone..let's call that smone L..L is smone i look up to and want to please..so i sent L an email asking for sm information that onli L can provide..but L wasnt happy with the email..reason being my punctuation, spelling, grammar was all rubbish..

u see when i write emails, esp to those whom i address by their first names, i tend to write a lil more informally..as in like msn speech..simply because when u ask me to call u by your first name, either i am "upped" to your level or you are lowered to my level..either way, we're on the same level..and i see no need to impress you with my literary skills..yea..

when L told off the entire class abt "netiquette" he stated that many others (i think before me) have faired badly in the area of email etiquette..sm examples he gave of bad email etiquette like not writing L's name b4 the email or signing off, i knew it wasnt me..so i wasnt the onli one..

but i jus had that nagging feeling that it was me that did it..like..i was THE last one he cld take..then he broke..and jus had to tell all of them off..feel so bad..like i jus got the whole class in trouble..

if ure reading this, i'm one of the culprits..and i'm sorry..i realli am..

it didnt help that L was glaring at me frm the moment i came into the classromm to the moment i sat down..then after class, he started glaring again..

i was so sure i wldnt meet him again til nxt wk..so at least got time to cool off..

but guess wad? i saw him again..and i think he saw me..

after german class, mum usu fetches me home..but that day she cldnt make it cos she had a function on..so i took the bus with gabriel..not the church one..this final year guy frm EEE who also takes german..

and when the bus reached HSS busstop, guess who was standing there waiting to board the bus?

yea..L..

L boarded the bus and stopped at the foot of the stairs (it was a double decker)..turned his head our way (where we were sitting) and furrowed his eyebrows..

i'm not sure if it's cos L was upset at the sight of me or if smone else took the seat L wanted at the bottom deck..

then L went up..and i was so glad i didnt see L when we all alighted at boon lay interchange..i think L lives arnd there..cos twice i saw L walking frm the blocks arnd the interchange towards the busstop..yea..

wel..L made me feel pretty bad..

those pple who are out to make me feel bad..that's the way to go, man..but jus so u know, i'l FEEL bad..but i wont necessarily SHOW that i feel bad..in case u get disappointed that u dont get to see me throw a tantrum or whine..

sigh

anyway, i apologised to L in a more formal email..the problem with apologising in formal emails is that they tend to come across as insincere and more robotical..but heck, if that's wad L wants that's wad L's gonna get..

good thg abt gOd is that He forgives as long as i ask..i probably wld have to live with the memory of it all my life (i've a tendency to remember such thgs) but to gOd, my slate is sparkling clean yet again..

o Lord You are good, You are good and Your mercies forever endures..

gOd bLEsS

me

2 comments:

[wins]* said...

Hmm. I think we'll always have such people to haunt us for a lifetime but like you said, it's ok cos at least we've a God who forgives. Every lesson learnt just serves to erm for lack of better words, let us learn.

Anw, was reading a bit further back and hey just thought I'd say, press on with your walk with God. We all get tired at some point, till we see no reason in serving but we just continue with the routine in case we fall away. There's nothing wrong with it. When we're dry, we shd just turn to Him even more and just rant. Sometimes He answers us more quickly, other times He just lets us be.

When God calls for people to go somewhere, He doesn't neglect us. Sometimes, He just lets us wander around and suffer or go through lessons that'll teach us, as did Moses in the desert. We'll ultimately emerge as His warriors. Don't let the devil pull us down because we are after all, more than conquerors through Him who loves us. =)

Just keep seeking God, and I know you will! Press on sister!

winnie

emyegeeayen said...

hey
thx for the encouragement =D

smtimes it's difficult..to walk and wander in silence..unsure if gOd realli is with you or if you're jus kiddin yourself..
and u jus wonder when it will end..that torturous wandering..

i think mine's either cmg to an end soon..or i'm getting used to it..which isnt very "correct"..

yea..but thx anyway..i needed smone to jus say keep going on..funny how it turned out to b u..

gOd works in mysterious ways, man..