peace . love . joy

sm of u wld know this, but not all of u..and i'm not that comfortable sharing the entire story with all..

but here goes..

recently (that wld mean ever since school started) i've been feelin abit dry..as in i've no passion to serve gOd anymore..

in fact, right now, i've no drive to go to church or bible study anymore..i'm jus not learning..it's all simply knowledge to me..we cannot rely on our feelings all the time..i know that..but it does help if say, i feel a certain connectedness with wad i'm learning..it creates hunger and thirst for more..

i know that importance of going to church, i know the importance of going for bible study..but i've no passion or drive or urgency..

on thursday, while i was walking hm frm the mrt, i suddenly thought wad if i die right then and there? wad wld i say to gOd? wad wld He say to me? how wld i face Him?

i knew the importance of wanting to learn more of Him, and to serve Him..but i jus cant seem to muster enough drive to go for it..i know it's urgent in a sense that our time here is limited and we've no idea when our time is up..i jus..argh!!..dunno la..

i know for certain gOd is not willing to let me go..He expressed that thru friends..and scripture that i read..and emails that i've received..i'm touched by that..i realli am..and i do want to go back to Him..like running back into His protective arms and jus rest there for all eternity..

but it's as though i'm standing at one end of a road and gOd is at the other..i stand there pondering..and gOd stands there arms outstretched..waiting..

i dunno how long he'll wait..i hope it's long enough for me to run like the wind towards him..yea..like i've got fire in my pants..

now, i'm not willing to lead a lesson for the sec 2s we're teaching..because if i've no drive, the kids'll definitely sense it one way or another..and it'll affect them..and it wld be my fault totally..

i dont want to drag others down with me..i'd rather go down alone..it's unfair for the others..

it's so funny..ytd, me and claire lead bs (bible study)..

it was weird cos both of us were more or less feeling the same way abt gOd and the christian way of life..and we're leading bs..hahas..ok not so funny..

btw, claire, i was thinking of smthg i heard over a recorded radio interview..will post it when i get the cd back..it was abt temptation..we all face temptation..but smtimes, we need to hear anew wad to do when faced with smthg we cant but bend to..i cldnt remember evrythg ytd, s'y i didnt say anythg..sorry..

angeline sent me this link..it's realli nice..

funny how gOd cares so much abt us, and here we are smtimes not thinking abt him at all in the span of one day..i'm so glad i'm not gOd..i'd feel so sad and depressed..hmmm..mebe that's wad gOd's feeling..i dunno..

He cares to talk to us..pple like me..who dont even talk to him anymore..He still makes it a point to talk to me..and i know it's frm him..interesting..

gOd you're so amazing..i cannot even begin to describe you..you used pple to talk to me..used my thoughts to convey wad u feel wld impact me no matter the extent of impact..used music, which u know speaks volumes and volumes and volumes to me..used scripture, which i jus read ytd to speak to me..wait for me, please!..wait for me..

claire (smone tell her this link) visit this
http://www.andiesisle.com/somanyroads.html
u guys can go see too..on the sound..

Richard & Michael Beradi -- So Many Roads

so many roads in your life
so much confusion which way to go?
so many roads so many dreams
are they illusions? you dont know

but if you wld jus believe in Him then love will come
and all your roads will lead to one

so many roads have taken you
to lonely places deep inside
so many roads have shown you smiles
on empty faces that fill the night

but if you wld jus believe in Him the love will come
and all your roads will lead to one

so many roads before your eyes
go on forever so far apart
so many roads cross your mind
they'll come together in your heart

oh if you wld jus believe in Him then love will come
and all your roads will lead to one

oh if you wld jus believe in Him then love will come
and all your roads will lead to One

gOd bLEsS

me